HASH TRASH

Hash Trash 30 Nov

2008-12-03T01:43:00.001-08:00

Next weeks Run # 1464 (according to the receding hareline) :
Venue: Parking area behind Glen Alpine Shopping Centre, Bergvliet Spur etc.
If you are coming from the northern suburbs (Jagsmeisie and co.) take the M3 south when you get to Settlers Way, stay on the M3 past UCT, past Newlands, past Paradise Motors (Shell Garage) stay on the M3 up the hill past the snobs in Bishops Court then around the corner down the hill over Wynberg bridge still on the M3 go on at the bottom of the hill past the Constantia off ramp, still on the M3, past Kendal Rd off ramp, still on the M3 take the next one left (NOT ON THE M3, anymore) Ext 16 Ladies Mile offramp at the traffic lights turn right, follow Ladies Mile go around the circle and carry on down Ladies Mile past the schools and take the first right and immediately left into Ladies Mile service Rd. Follow this over the 3 way Stop and then around the right hand corner, then drive straight into the parking area.
If you are not coming from the North you are probably not DOF and don’t need directions if you are Tough Shit. Relocate to the North and follow the directions.
NB If you get to Muizenberg you’ve gone too far South.
Time: 17h00
Hare: Bone Idle
Scribe: Koeksuster
Bring and Braai afterwards and there is a pool if you fancy a swim.

Wednesdays Run:
Pack Run, Rose & Crown (New pub)St. James 18h30

Parties and Socials:

21 December 2008 – Toy Run
· Ist run to be done by Curry Bum in keeping with Children’s theme
· Bring toys to be donated to a children’s charity

11 January 2009 – Helgar’s birthday bash
· Format – undecided but diarise anyway!

15 February 2009 – Ladies Revenge Run!!!!
· Male species be scared we are reintroducing hash traditions this year!!!!!!

April - Weekend away
· Uilenskraalmond (or some version of the spelling)
· St Patrick’s day theme!

July 2009 1500 Run

Remember to invite your friends & families to socials as it is a great way to introduce them to hash and increase our numbers!!!

Last weeks run # 1463 : Hare: Derelict
I arrived 10 minutes late for this run and in my haste to find the start missed a golden opportunity to flatten Hermanus who was sprinting along in the lead. I speed along another km along Sandowne Rd. and hastily halted the chariot in the chariot park alongside other hash perambulators. I then set off in haste after the long since departed hashers.
Not being a dof article I decided the best way to catch the pack would be to inspan some modern communication technology, so I dialled up Suckface while chasing along to the last spot I had seen Hermanus. Suckface answered cheerily a sure sign that he was not in the company of the RA. He rambled on about check 10 near Kelvin Groove, there I was standing on check 2 with nary a soul in sight. He then shocked me still further when he told me he wasn’t even with the runners, He had joined the knitting circle.
They must have been smoking those knitting needles to get to check 10 in 30min, eat your heart out Hermanus who wishes to become the most famous short-cutting bastard of all time at CTHHH (MFSCBOCTHHH), more about this later.
Being the motivated, tough not scared of physical punishment type of hasher that I am (you bastards got my hash handle completely wrong) I was determined to work hard and catch the pack, probably not Hermanus as he wouldn’t be on the trail anyway with his penchant for short cutting, but the pack.
Based on absolutely no information I turned right at check 2 and ran to the end of the street to find it turned away from my intended direction and around a school and canal, blast this bloody Rondebosch town planner. Now I understand the name Rondebosch, it should be round the bush, I went round a few, NO you filthy minded bastards I mean trees.
I arrived on the bank of another bloody canal with a blade wire fence and a field between myself and our esteemed (only because he had a cooler box) hare Derelict.
Now with renewed resolve and motivation I attacked the long winding roads to find a way to that cool nectar of the gods.
I found Derelict very pleased to see me if not a little puzzled that I had not approached from direction he had planned. As soon as he was convinced I was not Boblet as he normally pulls such stunts he happily awarded me a rehydration canister. He informed me the pack and Heranus were still to put in an appearance.
We were greatly surprised to see no sign of Hermanus at the front of the pack as they came into view.
The pack had all finished their rehydration process as Hermanus arrived, he had tried the mother of all short cuts. Shame looks like there’s not much the English have got right lately.
In true whinging pom style he was rabbiting on about pussy misleading him.
The way we saw it she whipped your arse, mmmmm he might enjoy that.
We thanked the hare for his generiosity in awarding Bone Idle a second ‘nectar of the gods”
(Amstel) and departed the booze stop.
Hermanus with his ego in tatters took off more or less straight for the chariots. Pussy, Bone Idle, Gutterguts leaning on Who’s the Boss’s chariot for balance, Blabbermouth and Curry Bum made a more honest effort to follow the well set trail along past Kelvin Groove, the rugby stadium and along the river to the station, then over the bridge and back to the chariot park.
Here we found Hermanus even after short cutting having been beaten by the walkers and the hare.

Sinners:
As a result of his disgraceful conduct and the fact that the English are loosers for more than 3 weeks now it was decided to appoint Gutterguts RA instead of Hermanus for the ceremony.
Just as Bone Idle felt this to be a strategic shift in his favour, Gutterguts lived up to his other hash handle Snake in the Grass (more like Snake in the Gravel) and turned on the innocent Bone Idle and the not so innocent Heranus and punished them for not having their hash tankards present.
Next up: Curry Bum and Koeksuster (you’re the shirt lady?) for No Hash shirts

Hash trash 23 Nov

2008-12-03T01:42:00.000-08:00

Next weeks Run # 1462 :
Venue: Parking area The waterslide Muizenberg
Time: 17h00
Hare: Boblet
Scribe: Deralicked

Wednesdays Run:
Venue: Deralicked pad 31 Uitvlugt Way Pinelands
Time: 18h30

Parties and Socials:

21 December 2008 – Toy Run
· Ist run to be done by Curry Bum in keeping with Children’s theme
· Bring toys to be donated to a children’s charity

11 January 2009 – Helgar’s birthday bash
· Format – undecided but diarise anyway!

15 February 2009 – Ladies Revenge Run!!!!
· Male species be scared we are reintroducing hash traditions this year!!!!!!

April - Weekend away
· Uilenskraalmond (or some version of the spelling)
· St Patrick’s day theme!

AT END OF JULY 2008 THE CAPE TOWN HASH CELEBRATES IT’S 1500 th RUN SO GET YOUR THINKING CAPS ON.

Remember to invite your friends & families to socials as it is a great way to introduce them to hash and increase our numbers!!!

Last weeks run # 1461.

The story of the run is unknown to me as I was late for the start, exactly one hour late. I had miss read the ‘e’ mail A few minutes after I arrived the knitting circle arrived back with dog fights breaking out when the dog walkers staggered in. Herm-anus failed to win the hash he arrived second behind one of the Puckit family Slowly the panting pack returned in the end we were only short the toilet twins long drop and latreen, may be they were inspecting each others ‘U’ bends.

Ceremony: R /A – Hermanus
Sinners::
Hermanus Boblet arriving late
The puckit family and friends new feet welcome
Blabbermouth The Hare
It was Blabbermouths 20 run set so he was duly enrolled in thje brotherhood with a mug and a ritual downdown.
And several other sinners that I missed along the way.
A spot of good news Blowbeans is away in the U.K. ( hope he returns before I get there}
After the run we retired to the Blabbermouth shack and consumed large quantities of dead animal and cakes.

Hash trash 9 Nov

2008-11-10T04:39:00.000-08:00

hash trash 2Nov

2008-11-03T23:42:00.000-08:00

REQUEST FROM TICKLY TART.... PLEASE ASSIST IF YOU CAN

Katherine (Tickly Tart) has asked me to ask you if you would like to put a request out to the Hashers for donations of used clothing for an orphanage that she visited in Uganda on her overland trip from Nairobi to Cape Town.........She will be here on the 12th and the transport would need to have them by the 14th and they will deliver on the way back up.....She assures us all that it is a genuine needy cause and clothes for chilren male and female from baby up to teenager will be really appreciated so this may help some people clear a few shelves ...I am sure a few toys would'nt go amiss either if they are not too bulky....Call Jan Klein 083 300 4446 for any further info or we can arrange a pick up if need be..........Thanks Ian

NOW READ THE HASH TRASH.....

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand matron – Hilary - Helgar
Hash Master – Bob - Boblet
Hash cash – Bruce – Gutterguts
Hash Kos – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Haberdash – Lieze - Koeksuster
On Sec – Hilda - Keelover
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Chris T – Herm-anus
Mountain Goat - Yvonne – Snake Charmer
WEDNESDAYS RUN: 5 NOV. PONCHOS OBSERVATORY.
SUNDAYS RUN : 9 NOV. 99 MILNER RD HOUT BAY. ( VICTORIA RD, TURN INTO EMPIRE RD HEADED TOWARD SEA, LEFT INTO VICTOR RD, RIGHT INTO MILNER RD.) 5 PM RUN. BRING & BRAII. BIN LADEN THEME.
THE RUN THAT WAS.
Gargoyle stated only nine checks and booze stops. 5pm and the run started with Gutterguts leading the pack on a long falsie to Constantia. Koeksuster found the trail and all headed down toward lower Constantia. Many walking
wounded on this run, from Pussygalore with numb feet ( numb in the brain), Heranus, crook ankle, Blabbermouth, recovering from a verble battering by Easy Rider and Boblet stricken by short man syndrome.
This motley crew was chided thru the run by Gargoyle jnr who perched atop his bike hurling abuse. Your time will come you little shit!
Check 5 booze stop and Gargoyle produced a vile green brew, a left over from the Halloween Party and insisted all must drink. All did drink and it tasted KAK!
Longdrop lead the pack down into Plumstead followed by Tinkerbell, Latreen and Potty and all marvelled at the Plumstead residents who insist this area is Lower Constantia, not Plumstead, BOLLOCKS!
Doggy Style was looking to repeat her bum shaking feat of last week, but could not find an appropriate hill and instead was content to cruise along with Mrs Gargole (TNT).
Check nine was found and all headed home.
Ta to Gargoyle for a nice run, set on his bike.
SINNERS.
PUSSY G, KOEKSUSTER, BOBLET, GUTTERGUTS, LATREEN, HERANUS, BONE IDLE, RSWP, BLOWBEANS.
Ta to Keelover for the Dagger cookies.
Parties and Socials:

16 November 2008 – Koeksuster’s birthday braai after hash

21 December 2008 – Toy Run
Ist run to be done by Curry Bum in keeping with Children’s theme
Bring toys to be donated to a children’s charity

11 January 2009 – Helgar’s birthday bash
Format – undecided but diarise anyway!

15 February 2009 – Ladies Revenge Run!!!!
Male species be scared we are reintroducing hash traditions this year!!!!!!

April - Weekend away
Uilenskraalmond (or some version of the spelling)
St Patrick’s day theme!

Remember to invite your friends & families to socials as it is a great way to introduce them to hash and increase our numbers!!!

hash trash 26 Oct

2008-10-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

Next weeks Run # 1458 :
Venue: Parking area Outside Norman Henshilwood High School on your way to Constantia Village coming from Wynberg side.
Time: 17h00
Hare: Gargoyle
Scribe: Bypass

Wednesdays Run:
Venue: Oblivion Restaurant 22 Chichester Road Claremont
Time: 18h30

Parties and Socials:

1 November 2008 – Halloween Party at False Bay Yacht Club RSVP HELGA IF YOU ARE GOING

16 November 2008 – Koeksuster’s birthday braai after hash

21 December 2008 – Toy Run
· Ist run to be done by Curry Bum in keeping with Children’s theme
· Bring toys to be donated to a children’s charity

11 January 2009 – Helgar’s birthday bash
· Format – undecided but diarise anyway!

15 February 2009 – Ladies Revenge Run!!!!
· Male species be scared we are reintroducing hash traditions this year!!!!!!

April - Weekend away
· Uilenskraalmond (or some version of the spelling)
· St Patrick’s day theme!

Remember to invite your friends & families to socials as it is a great way to introduce them to hash and increase our numbers!!!

Last weeks run # 1456 : Hare: Gutter Guts

As far as I recall “The Sound of Music” happened in 1965 or thereabouts. Arghhhh way before my time. But another repeat of the Sound of Music happened on Sunday at 17h00 outside Suikerbossie restaurant. We had Gutterguts like Captain Von tropp leading his many children (condoms never came into play or are we speaking about the used ones Keelover was carrying in her pocket then taking it apart one at a time) over the mountain. Helga (Maria) was given instructions on how to take the rest of the brady bunch on their weary way. Hermanus was given the male big dog the sexless one, as he was being one happy chappie (wonder if he got shagged the previous night. I am speaking about the dog where are your thoughts)

Anyways enough about that, Gutterguts let the runners all do a falsey up the mountain, obviously (run must go up hill). Not where he is concerned. They all gathered first to go down hill then up up and away.

Us walkers were told to follow the path till we reached the top of the trees. There we waited for the runners to appear at check two. At this stage I was very proud of myself. Climbed the mountain without a “sweat”. Yip ready to go further. Did some bundu bashing with trees hitting poor Snot Goblin in the face (inconsiderate dad). Then the worst part of all we had to walk single file up to the top of the mountain to check 4½ and then played the waiting game. We waited for the runners, while Blowbeans contemplated on how to get rid of Thunderthighs. He wanted her to give us all a demonstration of how far she would fall if she fell down the mountainside. (Damn these men think they can live without women, they are mistaken. check who wrote the letter)

After the regroup at check 4½ the runners continued up and over the mountain, we walkers had to go back the same way. Here the fun began. Slip sliding all the way to the bottom. Once all of us were confident that we could stand we continued on our merry way at this stage shaggy dog decided to show us how she could skate and promptly landed with a loud bang on the ground (like everyone said must have been 6 on the richter scale) and low and below 30 sec later her’s truly also lands on her bottom. We then returned to the chariots to await the runners. Slowly but surely they started returning and true to form Hermanus complaining. The dog was dragging him around and into the only stream that was on the mountain.

Once again the Mountains echoed the songs close to our heart when the RA promptly declared the following as sinners

Ceremony: R /A – Hermanus
Sinners::
Hermanus For complaining
Gutterguts setting the run
And several other sinners that I missed along the way. Aah remembered Curry Bum gave the Shit Shirt to Blowbeans for toasting the Sharks that won the curry cup final. Blowbeans in turn passed it on to Latrine as he would be away for the following few weeks

Attendance:
Doggy Style, Gargoyle, Mikhail, TNT,Gutterguts, Helgar, Currybum, Snot goblin, Keelover, Long drop, Snake charmer, Boblet, Hermanus, Latrine, Sarah, Blowbeans, thunderthighs

hash trash 19 Oct

2008-10-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

Hash trash 12 October

2008-10-12T00:32:00.000-07:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand matron – Hilary - Helgar
Hash Master – Bob - Boblet
Hash cash – Bruce – Gutterguts
Hash Kos – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Haberdash – Lieze - Koeksuster
On Sec – Hilda - Keelover
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Chris T – Herm-anus
Mountain Goat - Yvonne – Snake Charmer

(Comment: please save this hash trash format and use it as a template format for all newsletters. This keeps track of run numbers, receding hareline, attendance, events, etc….Thanks)

Next weeks Run # 1456 :
Venue: Rubbi Road, Kommetjie coming into Kommetjie, ignore the first left turn (Osborne) and possibly a second left (that 15 minute memory again), but turn left into Rubbi Road just after the newish Mews houses. Go up the hill and park somewhere near the church.
Time: 17h00
Hare: Snake Charmer
Scribe: Blabbermouth

Wednesdays Run:
Venue: Pack run….I forget will forward later
Time: 18h30

Parties and Socials:

19 October – Beer Fest & auction after hash so
· Bring your money for the T-shirt auction (% of proceeds to SASHA)
· Bring bric-n-brac for SASHA & come by some bric-n-brac
· Bring money for german style sausage boerewors rolls
· Bring money for raffle
· Bring money for hash cash
· Bring money………

1 November 2008 – Halloween Party at False Bay Yacht Club
· Final details to be forwarded during the week.
· Bring & Braai & party…..

16 November 2008 – Koeksuster’s birthday braai after hash

21 December 2008 – Toy Run
· Ist run to be done by Curry Bum in keeping with Children’s theme
· Bring toys to be donated to a children’s charity

11 January 2009 – Helgar’s birthday bash
· Format – undecided but diarise anyway!

15 February 2009 – Ladies Revenge Run!!!!
· Male species be scared we are reintroducing hash traditions this year!!!!!!

April - Weekend away
· Uilenskraalmond (or some version of the spelling)
· St Patrick’s day theme!

Remember to invite your friends & families to socials as it is a great way to introduce them to hash and increase our numbers!!!

Last weeks run # 1455 : Hare: JAN KLEIN
A good turnout for a good run… I must admit I always have a quiet giggle at the runners who have sooooo much to say about the knitting circle and then get injured (Hermanus) or have done a 21km run in the morning (Long Drop & Keel Over) or are now just passed it (Gargoyle) and ”have” to join the knitting circle – See we do exercise and yes some confidential issues are discussed (no Long Drop I will not drop you in the poo we do stick to our doctor/patient confidentiality clause) – enough said!

It was good to see old holidaying hashers making the run (Lefty & Rhona) and the returning foot of Tinkerbell after his appendix was removed a month or 2 ago. So onto the walk…. Peter Pan & Blodwynleek set off at a good pace up the hill away from the Stone Church outside Kirstenbosch after being told by the hare that he did not suggest that the knitting circle follow the runners as he had set the run on his bicycle….

Herm-anus, subjected to the knitting circle due to his tendon injury was chatting away with Gargoyle, while Long Drop was intrigued by the various girl talks including Jagsmeisie’s explanation as to why long Snot Goblin’s fine hair took to dry, Keel over was gloating over having beaten Long Drop by 4 minutes but that could have been due to the fact that he had indigestion from having rushed his porridge in the car as they had set their alarms an hour later than they thought! Doggy Style, Hermanus & co pondered over whether an overseas report that SA was now in a recession was correct and the men seemed far happier to be discussing economic issues that female problems, other conversations about cars were blandished about but I did not take any notice of those…. The runners were seen WALKING up a further hill in the direction of Jan Klein’s old pad and then our paths crossed again a short while later.

In no time at all we crossed into the muddy paths of the green belt area and were shown the wonders of nature in spring. Blodwynleek was heard commenting about the array of colourful flowers along the pathway to Rhona & Peter Pan. Snot Goblin coped very well and would not have assistance even on muddly inclines which had Herm-anus worried about his ankle and Mikhail complaining about his knee…

The walkers arrived back at the chariots about 5-10minutes before Lefty was seen striding in at least 2-3minutes ahead of the pack (of course claiming that he had not short-cutted – yeah right!) Slowly the muddy, motley bunch all arrived back and hastily climbed into their chariots to race down to “chez a la Small” as the braai awaited.

It was nice to have the gourmet hashers join us (Easy Rider, who’s the boss & Bakers oven) and a festive mood continued while much beverage & kos was consumed to celebrate and commemorate the 50th run set by the one & only Jan Klein.

Thanks to Blodwynleek & Jan Klein for their hospitality and allowing us to through your shoes in the pool…..

PS – All hashers in possession of tankards were given a free drink… so bring yours along you never know when this will happen again.

Ceremony: R /A – Hermanus
Sinners:
Hare : Jan Klein for his 50th run was presented his down down by the grandmatron (that’s me) out of the 50th cup and consisted of some concoction put together by Curry Bum! Well done Jan Klein!!!! Here’s to 50 more varied & bicycle set runs! (I believe there was also a run set in a golf card amonst them!)

Returning feet: Tinkerbell (I do not think that Peter Pan got to drink?); Lefty, Rhona
Visiting Foot : ? from the UK (too many sherries drunk to remember) & brother in law of Lefty
Walking Runners: Blabbermouth, Gutterguts & Latrine
Gun Run first timers: Keel Over & Long Drop – well done guys first ever 21km! (crazy people)
No hash t-shirt : Visiting british hasher
Koeksuster – received her 20th tankard (engraved and all …. Only 2 weeks late!)
Shit Shirt: Curry Bum (who then proceeded to jump into the ice cold swimming pool with it on…he takes after his father clearly not his mother)
50th run team present – Jan Klein, Herm-anus, Gutterguts (only Blow Beans missing – where were you?)

And a bunch of other down downs which totally escapes me

Attendance:
Jan Klein, Blodwynleek, Tinkerbell, Peterpan, Lefty, Rhona (for her hash handle); Bakerman, Tick Tock, Doggy Style, Jagsmeisie, Gargoyle, Michail, Gutterguts, Helgar, Currybum, Snot goblin, Keelover, Longdrop, Koeksuster, Snake charmer, Boblet, Hermanus, Latrine, Blabbermouth, British visitor without a hash shirt

Gourmet Hashers: Easy Rider, who’s the Boss, Bakers Oven, brother-in-law & mother-in-law of Lefty

hash Trash 3 OCT

2008-10-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

Cape Town Hash House Harriers 3rd October Windy City by the sea …REDHILL and Blowbeans …BlueKnees
Hare Gutterguts ..Attendees……5 Dogs 14 people but dogs vote counts 3 against 1 which made them the winners Eight checks in all of which six were up the mountain almost to the top of Redhill and the other two were down which again proves that Gutterguts is out of balance and very likely unstable accordig to the Hasthagerous. SINNNERS… Mr Dick and Pussy Galore saw fit to shortcut and were awarded the first two down downs by standin RA ..Jou Ma Se Koeksussie Jan Klein for coming back at all shared the next down down with Morag the Heeland Hoor from Scotland who was named “Kaman Suture” (some thing to do with the book she and Snakecharmer are writing about a dogs life in the Townships ) Snake Charmer was punished for assuming the squat position and not having a poop scoop handy Snot Goblin and new boy on the block Jordan now dubbed Cockroach got it for racing to win and it is well documented that sprinting is that is reserved for currently broken footed Her Anus our venerial RA Gutterguts and Blowbeans for a being more crap than they were last week Lastly Pussy Galore has been renamed ‘Incompetetent Pussy’ as she agreed to write the letter last week and as we all now know….SHE FORGOT! Then there are the Runs to look forward to>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Wednesday …18.30 La Grotto Main Road Plumstead and the time for a new Dictator is NOW……………….. Sunday …17.00 Park below the Stone House on Rhodes Drive near Kirstenbosch and if the weather is good a Bring and Braai at JK and Blod’s after ………. If it’s cold and wet you can bugger off to you own house and a make a mess ON On Jan Klein The Hare line seems to be non existent Boblet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hash Trash 14 Aug

2008-09-16T05:22:00.000-07:00

OLD Committee members: 2007/8

Grand master – Anthony - Blabbermouth

Hash Master – Lieze - Koeksuster

Hash cash – Bruce - Gutterguts

Hash Haberdash –Colleen – Mother Inferior

On Sec – Hilary - Helgar

Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider

Religious Advisor – Yvonne (Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Snake Charmer

Religious Advisor walkers – Derek - Derelict

Mountain Goat - Dan – Gravedigger

Wednesdays Run : 18:30 Pirates restaurant in Plumstead

Sundays Run: 16:00 Newlands Forest parking area. My 20th run – hooray!

The weekend that was….

Dutchcap and I set off at 10am on Friday morning for a leisurely drive to Beaverlac with great anticipation for our annual Hash winter weekend away. The views along the way were stunning and the last 4 kms of road was as treacherous as promised.

On arrival we are surprised to see that Bullwanker and Tracy are already there with 4 dogs(Vicky, Rusty, Marty and brain-dead Tiffany) in tow.

The size of the huts was small, but warm and anyway we were only sleeping there as the rest of the time we were definitely going to have fun.

Hashers arrived in drips and drabs with Longdrop and keel over arriving and the very last was the Mills family with the chicken soup and sherry. We started the party way before then with the veggie soup and beer like any good hasher. The party was then extended when the sherry and chicken soup arrived.

Saturday morning we woke to a glorious sunshine day. The sherry gave Bullwanker the hangover she bitched about all day, while Her_anus, Blabbermouth, Latreen and Graverobber set off to make sure we have a run worthy of the beautiful venue. As the morning wore on everyone else made their way to the waterfall for some serious R&R.

The run started at 2pm-ish with very few dressing up for the cowboy theme. Yours truly had my swanky red cowgirl hat, gun belt and pistols ready for action. The chocolates I won for best dressed are wonderful.

The run started out as a leisurely walk and the walkers did most of the run as well. Check 5 was a sherry re-group. Keel over and Currybum continued their longstanding flirtatious affair of dunking each other in water. With a little help from Koeksuster, Currybum went head first into the water and lost my pistol (it did not float – what type of plastic does not float!). Somehow Boblet who was missing in action for most of the run appeared as a front runner..?

Just before check 8 Blabbermouth decides to walk over fences instead of opening them nicely and closing them again behind him. Needless to say the fence was destroyed. Check 8 is where the annual egg throwing competition was resurrected by Her_anus. 9 pairs of hashers started tossing an egg or two. It was promptly decided that it is far more fun to toss the eggs at our hare.

The trail then wound its way to the water-up (not waterfall) spout. From there everyone followed the path above the true waterfall and a trail was blazed down to cross the river. Boblet was almost swept away by the river when he tried to save ‘no brain with brawn dog’ Tiffany. A few hashers went for a final swim in the river (Keel over, Longdrop, Currybum, Koeksuster), while Gutterguts and Graverobber showed us all how it is done by jumping off the top of the cliff over the waterfall to the river below – very impressive guys.

Our RA was cold and wet and we waited for absolute ages to start the ceremony while she warmed herself up…

Sinners:

Gutterguts – forgetting down-down mugs

Helgar – shite directions to Beaverlac

Her_anus – hare

Latreen, Blabbermouth, Brave robber – co-hares

Boblet – missing on trail and then getting to the front somehow?

Underdog – walking on the run with shite excuse of carrying Alyssa

Keel over & Koeksuster – child abuse of Currybum

Bone Idle – why not

Jagsmeisie – hat in circle

Dutchcap – she doesn’t drink beer on a run. Why else do we run?

The RA then dipped her filthy slops into the large tankard to stir the brew inside.

Gutterguts and Her_anus share this tankard for their 50th and 75th runs set respectively.

Bone Idle & Blabbermouth share the large shorts for shortcutting

Longdrop – forgot shit shirt & drinks from our little red toilet

Easy rider – knocked drinks over on run with an egg

Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss – no hash shirt and did not pitch for the run

Tracey gets hash handle – Doggy style

Boblet – for attempting to drown while saving a dog

RA – for bringing dogs that drown Boblet

Boblet – for not making sure hash drinks are cold

The fires were then lit to start the 3 potjies for supper. Gutterguts you outdid yourself. Jagsmeisie said she would drive to Beaverlac any day for your potjie again. It was really good. The rice, salads and desserts went down rather well with our 3 potjies.

The annual Award ceremony was held quickly before we could indulge into the supper.

Firstly down-down were awarded to Latreen and Her_anus for sleeping and being late.

Scribe of the year – Derelict

Graverobber bravely volunteered to have the down down on Derelict’s behalf

Hashette of the year – Thunderthighs

Hasher of the year – Boblet – he has never missed a run

Run of the year – Koeksuster

Spirit of Hash – Gutterguts

The new committee is as follows:

Hash master – Boblet (receding hareline)

On Sec – Keel over (send your newsletters to her to distribute weekly)

Haberdash – Koeksuster (this has gone back to its original function as T-shirts, socials and weekend away organization)

Mountain Goat – Snake Charmer (to arrange quarterly hikes for all interested)

Web Wench – Easy Rider (to maintain website)

Hash kos - Blabbermouth - the odd Sunday boerie rolls, etc.

Hash cash – Gutterguts (the booze)

Grand master – Helgar ( Oh great ruler of all Cape town hash)

Religious Advisor – Her_anus (down-down giver)

After supper, the whiskey club made their appearance and stayed up late tasting their supplies.

As it was our winter weekend away the weather obliged and we woke up Sunday morning to rain. Keel over and Longdrop got such a ‘skrik’ when they saw the weather they did an early morning duck home. You missed out big time on breakfast.

The ‘die hard’ run was an arranged trek to the new GM’s hut where the champagne breakfast was absolutely yummy. Vicky those flapjacks were great!

Pussy galore 2. We missed you. We know you were sick and could not make it at the last minute, but you would have had a great time and really missed out on a great relaxing weekend. You have a run in 2 weeks remember please.

Receding hareline

1451 14-Sep HERMANUS KOEKSUSTER

1452 21-Sep KOEKSUSTER PUSSY GALORE2
1453 28-Sep PUSSY GALORE2 GUTTERGUTS
1454 05-Oct GUTTERGUTS JAN KLEIN
1455 12-Oct JAN KLEIN

On On

Koeksuster

Sweet and twisted as always

hash trash 7 Sep

2008-09-08T05:24:00.001-07:00

Morning Wan*ers, er sorry, Hashers. Well what to write about yesterday's mountain walk, hike, run? Up from Godfrey Rd the trail proceeded high above Kalk Bay with Gutterguts leading the pack, who were being slowed by the" Phuket Brothers", or should that be the Fuckit Brothers! Evidently these chaps were much excited, having seen "Blues Brothers" 2 on tv on friday and were rejoicing , their faith being restored having seen Elwood Blues repeat the immortal line, "We're on a mission from God!"
Back to the scenic HIKE? The trail came to a dead end above Kalk Bay, the hare appeared to have lost the trail, however a back check was called and Keel Over , resplendent in bright pink top ( from the gay and lesbian society), led the pack down to Clovelly where that twit Hermanus was found having shortcut the trail.
Remember the childhood song "The Grand Old Duke of York ", when they were up they were up, and when they were down, well the song aptly describes this run!
Having gone down to Clovelly, the run now proceeded up hill thru dense bush to the only booze stop, here we waited and waited and waited for the microscopic dwarf who was more interested picking daisies than doing the hike then refused beer, saying only REAL BEER would do, oh very bolshie!
Long Drop and Keel Over lead the pack down toward Kalk Bay with "Latreen" in hot pursuit. Down in Boyes Dr were spied Blow Beans, Derelicked, and the knitting brigade hoping and skipping around Kalk Bay pinching scrap metal for Derick's scrap business!
Home run was found and all finished at Godfrey Rd.
Thanks to Bull Wanker and quadrupeds for a great run, hike, walk.
Sinners.
Long Drop, Latreen, Hermanus, Boblet, Bullwanker, Keel Over etc.
NEXT SUNDAY RUN: BEVERLAC 13 SEPT on Saturday.
WEDNESDAY RUN???
ON,ON
HERMANUS.

Hash trash 31 august

2008-09-01T13:33:00.001-07:00

hash trash 17 Aug

2008-08-19T00:26:00.000-07:00

Hash Trash 3 August 08

2008-08-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

C.T.H.H.

The Committee Who Cares.
Wednesday’s. Run. Pack Run UCT Sports Club.
Next Sundays Run. The Arboretum Car Park Top Of Tokia Rd Tokia

Run No. Hare. Blabber Mouth.
Location. Top Kloof Car Park.

This was a superb run set by two experts in the extremely difficult discipline of hash setting namely Blabber Mouth and yours truly The run started a little late due to logistical problems, these problems will become obvious later.
After the usual preamble about the run details, the hash commenced. As usual the lemming instinct in the hash seemed to raise its head, a few of the pack ran down hill to the pipe track, the rest of the runners followed the hare and ran up table mountain, after much confusion and a lot of hot air and sweat, the pack realised it was going nowhere, and that there was nowhere left to go apart from downhill. The first attempt was down Kloof Nek, that proved a bummer so the ever gracious Hare took pity on the confused minions and led them to the trail down the hill towards Camps Bay. After a gentle downhill run on Kloof Rd, the trail went uphill and on to check 3, it bought a glow to my soul to watch the pack take the long falsie along the contour path.
The trail went back on to Kloof Rd with check 4 at the side of the Glen, it did not take a brain surgeon to guess the trail would go down the Glen, getting down to the river took a little bit of ingenuity as most of the old path seem to be over grown, but away down was eventually found by the main pack. The bone idle at the back of the pack expected yours truely to play the honest co-hare and lead them onto trail, bugger that my feet were still sodden from setting the run down the river. After that I did not see the pack for a while, but their obscene and derogatory vocalisations echoed though the glen. The next time the pack was observed was at the bottom the Glen stuck at a dead end created by the filthy rich fencing of the end of the glen. The pack was now trapped like World War 1 soldiers on the barb wire, after a lot of foul language about laddered tights from the big fairies , the pack managed to extricate its self from the nasty sharp wire and then scale the side of the Glen to get back on the trail. From there on it was a gentle downhill run to Maidens Cove, this was a one way run, the reason for the delayed start was the logistics of returning the hare from Maidens Cove to the start.

Sinner of the week
Gutterguts for fingering Wonderbra for the shirt last week
The hare and Cohare Blabbermouth and yours truly.
Three wise virgins from the Freestate.
Yours truly for leading thr R.A a stray.
And many more.

On On

Hash Trash 27 July

2008-08-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

Hash Trash 13 July 2008

2008-07-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

Hash trash 29 June

2008-07-02T03:47:00.000-07:00

HASH TRASH

NEXT RUN 6 July 2008 Top of Da Gama Rd, Da Gama Park. There is a parking lot on the right hand side at the navy store 4pm

WEDNESDAYS RUN Bergvliet Sports Club, Children’s Way, 18h30. Bring and braai afterwards

The Run that was…
Well, the hare did not do his run, but announced 12 checks marked in chalk and flour. The route took us on a circular route through Kirstenhof, crossed Tokai Rd at check 8to lead us on another circular route through Tokai and Dennendal before taking us back to check 8 and home run. Gutterguts had his lunch weighing to heavy on him and he dragged Boblet and Blabbermouth on a ‘go-slow’ from check 8. Her anus got to check 10, but the falsie on the next split made him turn back towards home. The few remaining runners did the whole route and after check 12 ran into our ‘go-slow’ group who was supposedly running the route in reverse. Considering the distance they covered…. not much running was done.
The run was lovely and the braai was even better. Crock and Patsy - thank you for sharing your house and 45th anniversary celebration with us hashers.

Sinners: I cannot remember all of it, but
Blabbermouth’s new shoes rang a bell
Croc the hare
Where is the shit shirt?

Receding Hareline
Run# Date Hare Scribe
1441 06-Jul KOEKSUSTER BYPASS
1442 13-Jul BYPASS BONE IDLE
1443 20-Jul BONE IDLE TWINPEAKS
1444 27-Jul TWINPEAKS BLABBERMOUTH
1445 03-Aug BLABBERMOUTH BOBLET
1446 10-Aug BOBLET EASY RIDER
1447 17-Aug EASY RIDER GARGOYLE
1448 24-Aug GARGOYLE JAN KLEIN
1449 31-Aug JAN KLEIN BULLWANKER
1450 07-Sep BULLWANKER HERMANUS
1451 14-Sep HERMANUS KOEKSUSTER
Beaverlac Weekend Away 12-14 September - Her anus 75th run
1452 21-Sep KOEKSUSTER PUSSY GALORE2
1453 28-Sep PUSSY GALORE2 GUTTERGUTS
1454 05-Oct GUTTERGUTS LONGDROP
1455 12-Oct LONGDROP

Hash Trash - 22 June 2008

2008-06-25T01:05:00.001-07:00

Cape Town Hash House Harriers

Last Sunday's run 22 June 2008

Run No.?????

My Pc and email addresses were stolen!

Started from near Fish hoek on the Clovelly side of the main rd, went up to Clovelly Cuntry Club, but since no-one had golf clubs with them, the silly bunch went mountaineering instead! On on and up they went, thinking Hilda should be called Hill-da or Hell-da! check 4 was found near the top of the hill on the Clovelly side of the mountain and check 5 on the Kalk Bay side. Not often we have a run encompassing two suburbs and both seaside resorts at that! The original Clovelly (UK) is a quaint fishing village in North Devon and Kalk Bay was name due to the vast amounts of mussel shells (black) that were available for crushing/grinding to produce limewash/chalk (white) for the tasteful decoration of the local houses.Kalk being Afrikaans for chalk! How's that for history?

Those who actually did the run went past the famous " Boomslang" (Afrikaans for tree snake) cave which actually goes right through the mountain from Clovelly to Kalk Bay! although essentially a tunnel, it does have some huge rock caverns which look like halls. the tunnel sections are not for the more rotund among us and one has the choice of either pulling one's backpack by one's feet or pushing it ahead! Don't wear you best clothes as it's rather a muddy experience and take illumination but not candles as they get extinguished by the through-draught(southeast in summer and northwest in winter).then onto Boye's drive,down Clairvaux road to the harbour and then back along the main road past the harbour and back to the start quite a gruelling run by all accounts and very imaginative for a first run by Hill-da!

The start was accompanied by some giggles provided by firstly the Grand Master - (punished for arriving) late in the usual manner and secondly a grand display of some strenuous push-ups by the US embassy pair Jarryd and Nick,all in perfect unison! It seems the Americans who put men on the moon can't count to more than 21!

Then to more serious matters - the ceremony - started at the beach where Boblet was nailed for something or other and was made to squat which niggled his wanking hand/ shoulder. Hermanus and Pussygalore2 also offended somehow! Jarryd was awarded a pair of "shorts" which would have fitted some of the larger of us!

The ceremony was continued at the home of Gutterguts and Helga (note the spelling) where Jarryd discovered (after sampling some "witblitz") (white lightning) that the shorts were not so bad after all! yours truly was renamed "mugger's delight" after a recent serious robbery - not much sympathy from HHH! Blowbeans recently had a serious hand operation - carpal tunnel or carnal tunnel? which has restricted his money-grabbing somewhat! At last we've seen that he does have opposed thumbs!

Wednesday's Run from Rascals Meyer St (off Rosmead Avenue) @ 18h30!

Next Sunday's Run At Croc & Patsy's place 3 Belinda St Kirstenhof (if lost phone 021- 7012741 landline or 072 - 4602837 mobile. There will be a bring and braai OR soup&rolls (depending on the weather)

Receding Hareline:
6 July Koeksuster
13 July Ken bypass
20 July Bone Idle
27 July Twinpeeks

Weekend Away
Sometime in September - watch this space!

Thanks for the good spread (and homemade soup) to Helga & Gutterguts

HASH TRASH 15 JUNE 08

2008-06-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

Hash Trash 25 May

2008-06-04T08:44:00.000-07:00

blabbermouth attending the Fukov hash in Tokyo.....

Next weeks Run # 1435: Venue: 107a Queen Victoria Street, Claremont. On On afterwards with soup and rolls for Easyriders birthday Time: 16H00 i.e 4.00pm Hare: Blabbermouth Scribe: Suckface

Wednesdays Run: Has been. Was at WPCC in the rain

Well here I am, back in the land of nod after my adventurous trip to Japan. Now I have been voluntarily compelled to set this Sunday’s run, so I take it I have to write this letter about last Sundays run. Well as I was not there I suppose I will have to write about my run in Tokyo. But before we get there just a word of caution for those who are planning a long trip with Emirates. If you are travelling in economy class with the rest of the plebbs make sure you get a seat closer to the front of the aircraft otherwise by the time they come around to offer you chicken or fish, no beef, they would have run out of chicken, and eating fish on an aircraft is not my idea of fun. Just by the way it happened twice to me on the way there and once on the way back. Now once in Tokyo if you are planning on drinking a lot of beer make sure you bring tons of money because at about R50 a beer you won’t be drinking much, except water. Luckily for me our sponsors were keen for us to try there beer, called Asahi, which is a light beer, so I got plenty to drink. I must admit it isn’t a bad tasting beer at all. Tokyo, which happens to be the largest populated city of the world with 35 million people and a sprawl of buildings that just don’t seem to end, navigating around it to find a hash run can be an experience on its own. So picture this, you are standing in the train station, with a tsunami of people are continually walking past you which just doesn’t seem to end, and you are staring at the direction board to try and see where you need to go. Unfortunately for you it is all in Japanese, F#$%! So you head off to find a stationmaster who can maybe direct you in the right direction. Now this wally doesn’t understand a word of English, but you happen to remember your tour bus guide was kind enough to write the name for you in Japanese so you take out this piece of paper and in your best Japanese-English you point at the name and say “I go here”, and in his best Japanese-English he tells you to F#$% off, or so it seams. But eventually after much deliberation he manages to point you in the right direction, and if you have not prayed before you soon find yourself praying aloud; ‘Oh God please get me on the right train.” Now all Jap trains are coloured for the different lines they run on, so you only have to look out for your colour and head off in the right direction. So eventually after 30 minutes of praying I arrived at my station feeling rather proud of myself that I have navigated my way around. Finding the run from here was simple, as the hare had laid arrows pointing the direction to the gathering point. I was warned to get there on time as they start promptly, and they did. Shortly before we set off I met up with Corkscrew who had come out to SA and had run on Wednesday with us. At precisely 7.30, 8 checks were called with a booze stop at check 8, and before we set off, to ensure no one gets lost, each person is given a piece of chalk to mark the true trail. There are no walkers in this hash and with about 25 runners we were off, and I can see why their hash is called Fuckov hash; their concept of a jog is more like a sprint. After 1 hour of running I came across the On-In, and I paid my 1000-yen, which is about R76, so I could tuck into the beer and snacks. The circle is held only after everyone has eaten and drunk as this is there way of ending the run. The circle went on for about 45 minutes with me drinking copious amounts of beer from sins ranging from been GM, visiting foot, not been on there next run and so on… My journey home proved to be easier as corkscrew had to take the same train home, so he just guided me in the right direction as to when to get off the train. The amazing thing was the amount of people who were still commuting at 11.15 in the evening, It felt as if the rush hour had just started. And that was my journey to Tokyo hash.

ON ON Blabbermouth

Hash Trash 18 May

2008-06-04T08:42:00.001-07:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master – Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash – Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash –Colleen – Mother Inferior
On Sec – Hilary - Helgar
Guardian Angel – Vanessa – Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Racing Snake
Religious Advisor walkers – Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat - Dan – Gravedigger

(Comment: please save this hash trash format and use it as a template format for all newsletters. This keeps track of run numbers, receding hareline, attendance, events, etc….Thanks)

WEDNESDAY: 14 MAY 2008
TIME: 18.30
WHERE: Mel's Village Kitchen Klipfontein Rd ....in shopping centre with Woolworths...Beers on special for us! ..
HARE: Derelicked

SUNDAY: 18 MAY 2008
TIME: 16H00 (4PM)
WHERE: Tygerberg Nature Reserve, Welgemoedt (N1 NORTH, WELGEMOEDT-JIP DE JAGER EXIT, LEFT UP JIP, FOLLOW NATURE RESERVE SIGNS. Call Chris 0834583836 if you need specific directions.
HARE: Herm-anus

Last weeks run # 1433 : Hare: PUSSYGALORE 2
This letter, like the above run almost did'nt happen.The hare forgot about the run. With 1hr:15mins before the starting time, run setting commenced, One hour five mins later the run had been set and under stormy clouds, the run started with Dutch Cap leading the pack to check two on a high contour path. Miss Toblerone led the pack to check three, whereupon Gutterguts followed by Bullwanker encountered a falsie deep in the forest. Meanwhile Longdrop and Pussygalore found the trail and headed up thru the mist to check 4 where Cape Town's greatest hasher provided liquid refreashment, Old Brown Shit! Duly fortified, the pack headed up and deep into the forest , the home horrid evil creatures such as, Trolls, Dwarfs, Hobbitts and Boblets. Talking of Boblet, it was noted he had vanished along with his bum chum Gargoyle No Neck. With no trace to be found of Boblet and his chum, the pack found the trail and headed down to the lower contour path where check 9 morphed into a live run to check 10. Nobody caught the hare so home run was declared and all headed home.
Thanks to Pussygalore and Heranus for an excellent run. Also thanks to Pussy for the doughnuts.

Ceremony: R /A – Bullwanker.
Sinners:
Hare : Pussygalore 2.
Heranus, Pussygalore 2, Boblet, Blowbeans, Miss Toblerone, Guttergutts, Jacgstsmeisie.

Attendance:
The usual wankers.

Hash Trash 4 May 08

2008-05-09T01:06:00.000-07:00

Next weeks Run # 1433:
Venue: Top of Swaanswyk road, Tokai

Time: 16H00 i.e 4.00pm
Hare: Pussy Galore (Singapore Pussy)
Scribe: Padams

Wednesdays Run: Has been. Was at Mixas in Kloof street

Last weeks run # 1432 - Hare: Boblet

Here follows what must be the longest hash letter ever written by me, trying not to upset Blowbeans to much if the hash letter is short. Now I have pondered long and hard about the run, considering I was not even supposed to scribe, but like a true hasher, and Grand master, I will do my duties. This letter, I am sure, will qualify me for a free down down, but I will not be able to enjoy the fruits of my labour from this letter as I will be in Japan, hopefully running with Fuckov hash next Friday. I think there should be quite a bit of shiggy on the run as the weather man has forecast rain for next Friday, and if I come back squinting at everyone then you know I’ve been drinking too much Saki, and eating too much Sushi.

So now back to this letter, as I said the longest letter ever written is about to follow. So what happened to the scribe, well I think there was a bit of confusion between the two Pussy Galores, Pussy Galore from West Coast and Pussy Galore from South Coast, each waiting for the other to set the run, by the way did anyone get to go to Sexpo, there were “Pussies galore”. Enough of the crude stuff.

So what was Sexpo like you ask? Well there was fun and games for the whole family, well not quite the whole family, but you know what I mean. You could watch girls do their pole dancing, or ride on the mechanical bull and see how long you can stay on for, and it was not shaped anything like a bull (if you know what I mean), or you could walk around all the different stands and view all their wares everything from batteries, clothes, toys, books, videos, or go for lessons on how to do pole dancing, stripping, you name it and I bet you it was there, and forgetting to mention there was also the local talent. Now I just need to sort out this stiff neck I have this morning. So what was I doing there you ask, I don’t go to these ghastly things, I just install their cash registers and watch couples spend up to R4500 on toys (No joke).

Anyway about this run, and by the way the show goes on until Sunday and it is R100 to get in.

The run…it was Bob’s birthday, and believe it or not he actually gave us a Regroup with beer that he bought, I am serious, he actually had a regroup with beer. So let it be known that miracles do happen. So where did we run? Well if there is a mountain next to you at the start of the run then you can bet your bottom dollar that we will go up, and we did, maybe not quite in the beginning but we did, even if we only went up a little bit. I suppose I can put this down to training for Knysna. Then we have hashers who are scared of shiggy, what has the world come…needless to say the RA punished them, amongst others.

So there you have it, now I must be off to go and guard my cash registers at the Sexpo. I have to make sure they don’t break, really.

ON ON
Blabbermouth

Hash Trash 27 April

2008-05-06T11:19:00.001-07:00

SUNDAY’S RUN
TIME: 16H00
WHERE: CAR PARK OPPOSITE 2ND AVENUE ON KOMMETJIE ROAD, FISH HOEK
HARE: BOBLET

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO:
BOBLET – FRIDAY 25 APRIL
MOTHER SUPERIOR FOR SUNDAY – 27 APRIL
THUNDER THIGHTS – TODAY 29 APRIL
GUTTER GUTS – WEDNESDAY 30 APRIL

& TNT & GARGOYLE’S 20TH WEDDING ANNIVERSAY!!!!!!!

JOIN US FOR THE JOINT CELEBRATIONS & WEDNESDAY HASH – 3 DRIVER STREET, LAKESIDE (bring own meat if you want to braai, otherwise just join us for pudding, snacks, cheese & wine) - hash cash will be there!

Next weeks Run # 1432:
Venue:TO BE ADVISED

Time: 17H00 i.e 5.00pm
Hare: According to receding Hareline - Boblet
Scribe: Pussy Galore

Wednesdays Run: 3 Driver Road Lakeside 18H30
PARTY – PARTY - PARTY AFTER THE RUN
Pudding, Cheese and Port will be supplied. Fire will be provided for those who want to Bring and Braai.

Last weeks run # 1431 - Hare: Gargoyl the Good looking Oke I’m married too

RECEIPE FOR A PERFECT RUN

INGREDIENTS
Good location Sunny Skies
Chalk Flour
Lotsa Hills Lotsa Stairs
Plenty water Peach Schnapps
Strawberry Russian Vodka Trees
Boerewors Rolls Milk Tart
Scones & Cheese Scones & strawberry Jam

METHOD
Find a good location like the Parking in front of the President Hotel.
Then Pray the whole week for sunny skies, as the weather man predicted rain. Prove him wrong.
Walk towards a cul-de-sac and follow all the chalk and Flour markings
Then turn left up a flight of stairs. Up, Up and away.
Oh no it doesn’t end there.
You then espy a hill to the left of you.
And once again pray that, that is the end of the hills
Place another another flight of stairs in front of you,
and another flight of stairs.
And then the blessed regroup.
Offer the runners sustenance in the form of Peach Schnapps and Strawberry Russian Vodka.
You then set some mean falsies for Heranus to do.
Right up to the trees and watch him get lost.
The rest of the runners you send up another flight of stairs.
By this time the Hare and co Hare would be very tired and the descend starts.
Half way down offer the runners some more Peach Schnapps and Strawberry Russian Vodka.
After catching you second breathe you begin to enjoy the run.
Now is the time to admire the scenery , the babes and the blue waters.
Run alone the beautiful suburb of Camps Bay and Sea Point.
Return to the chariots via the Board walk.
Admire the view
Thank the Lord you have come back in one piece

RECEIPE FOR A PERFECT WALK

INGREDIENTS
As above

METHOD
Follow the method as per run for the first four lines.
Instead of turning left you turn right.
Now get into a comfortable stride.
Put the mouth in motion.
And walk for about a half hour.
Turn around
Change companions
Put mouth in motion
Walk back to chariots

Stand in RA:- Heranus

Sinners: Hare:- Gargoyl Co Hare:- Long Drop
And to many other sinners to mention.

Now bring out the skottel and make boerewors rolls
Have Tannie Thunderthighs bring out her Melk Tert
Have Keel over serve you scones and cheese
Or scones and strawberry Jam
THIS MAKES FOR A PERFECT RUN/WALK

Hash Trash 27 April

2008-05-06T11:19:00.000-07:00

hash trash weekend away 11-13 april

2008-04-18T04:02:00.000-07:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master – Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash – Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash –Colleen – Mother Inferior
On Sec – Hilary - Helgar
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor walkers – Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat - Dan – Gravedigger

Next weeks Run # 1430 :
Venue:CONSTANTIA NECK CAR PARK
( Call Chris 0834583836 if lost).

Time: 17H00 i.e 5.00pm
Hare: Heranus
Scribe: Open to any offers

Wednesdays Run: SOMEWHERE IN DURBANVILLE @ 18H30

Last weeks run # 1429 - Hare: FH3 – AKA – short shit, bed&rock, otter bender

The Idyllic town of Franschhoek was shattered on Friday night with the arrival of Cape Town Hashers. Luckily the accommodation was set very far back in the mountains. The rowdy bunch settled to some pizzas and whiskey tasting. The likes, the whiskey club has never seen before. Bill, the short shit from FH3 announced that the run, the next day would be up, up and up and that anyone with vertigo, back problems, arthritis, or any other aliment should not attend the run. After lots of whiskey and wine I was led to believe that none of the hashers had any ailments and all of them would be doing the run.

Saturday arrived and the hashers were set free in the town of Franschhoek. Now firstly, after so much boozing the best thing was to line the stomach again for the next lot of boozing. Breakfast at the “Essence” was had by a few of us. To pass the time we decided to do some wine tasting. After conferring a unanimous decision was reached and it was agreed that we would start our wine tasting at Graham Beck (you mos know its Free) So off we go following the Great master who proceeds to tell us all to sit around the bar. After tasting the booze and settling for a few bottles, we were off to La Motte for our next booze stop. Here we had to pay a tasting fee. So only the three taste masters had their fill. Once again we were off to the Hollanders chocolate shop. Jan Klein was trying to get on the right side of Blondewynleek so he gave her free reign in the chocolate shop. (overheard Jan Klein telling Bakerman that they do not have to buy any preserves Blondewynleek is quiet handy in the kitchen and she makes all their preserves.) In true hash style we should all go and sample these preserves. We then all left the chocolate shop to meet the others for lunch at Dien Donne.

We all returned to base camp to be met by Bill, the short shit from FH3 , who promptly told us that the run would be at 15H30 and that we had to ride to the actual run in Robertsonvlei road. We were also not to worry as we would be running over some private property, but he is very friendly with the people in the neighbouring area and that should not be a problem.

The run started promptly at 16H00 give or take a half hour difference. He thinks CT Hashers are not able to read time. Well, we all started this cross country, bundu bashing run/walk. The shit told us that we should just follow him. The run/walk went over cobble stones around a dam up thru a friendly neighbour’s property whose wife came at us with a double barrel shot gun shouting like a banshee to get off her property. They then proceeded up to the block house on the mountain. (Now if you were into abseiling this would have been your perfect opportunity to do it or you could have put your superman skills to good use.) The downhill run/walk was exactly at a 90° angle. Many a runner had to slip side their way down the mountain. We had a few brave souls who felt that they had to carry their kindred spirit down the mountain. After waiting for the late comers the CTH3 RA proceeded to do the ceremony.

Sinners: Hare Bill, the short shit from FH3
Lindi, Bed & Rock

And to many other sinners to mention.

As we were leaving, the friendly neighbour’s husband stopped our esteem “Great Drinking Master,” a CT Hasher who happens to know this friendly neighbour and the neighbour proceeds to tell him how flabbergasted he his that the Hashers ran over his property without his permission. Then Bill, the short shit from FH3 intervenes and says “two weeks ago I approached you and asked you if we could run thru your property”. The neighbour says that he had never ever spoken to him. Bill, the short shit from FH3 says “you even invited me in for tea.” The Friendly neighbour says “ I have never set eyes on you before.” Farm master intervenes and says that he was the one that, Bill, the short shit from FH3, had spoken too and that we weren’t meant to run on that particular section of the farm but on another section. Shows when Alzheimer’s is setting in that you cannot remember anything that happened more than two weeks ago.

Well all of this wasn’t going to deter CT Hashers to continue to have a good time. We had Mark, Otter Bender prepare us a gourmet meal of Pork, Roast Beef, roast Potatoes and vegetables with ice cream for dessert. As always thunderthighs, not to be left out, brought out her chocolate brownies for everyone to taste. All of this was washed down with lotsa of Red wine, White wine and beer and lotsa chatting. Before all the wine went to everyone’s head, Our esteem Great Drinking Master, started the auction of T-shirts and we had “pussy” modeling for us.
Afterwards, more drinking and before I started stripping I thought it best that I retire for bed.

Sunday morning led us to another bright and sunny day (one of those days where the sun stays steady in the sky and does not move.) The bowling green clubhouse was organized for us to come and have a braai. We were also promised to be taught how to play old man’s balls. So at 10h30 we all set off to the bowling club, to do lotsa practicing and lotsa chasing of the balls. The Hashers then put their newly found skills to the test and had a competition among themselves. After the braai our host, Mark, Otter Bender said that their would be a group competition and the person that threw the wood closes to the jack would win a free weekend for two at Otter’s bend and the one that landed the furthest away, would win a bottle of wine. In true hash spirit most of the Hashers participated. The weekend away was won by Easy Rider and the wine by Boblet. We all then departed for the great trek back to Cape Town.

Our thanks go out to the following people:
To all the Cape Town Hashers who attended the weekend and all Hashers who and anything to do in making this weekend a success. Thanks

A Special thanks to Mark and Mary for making our stay at Otter’s Bend so memorable and for putting up with us

To FH3 especially to Bill and Lindi (the only people I met) and any other FH Hasher who made our weekend so enjoyable. THANKS
We definitely will be back.

TNT for gargoyl

HASH TRASH - 6/4/08

2008-04-08T04:31:00.000-07:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master ?? Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master ? Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash ? Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash ?Colleen ? Mother Inferior
On Sec ? Hilary - Helgar
Hash Web Wench ? Leanne ? Easy Rider
Religious Advisor ? Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away)? - Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor walkers ? Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat? - Dan ? Gravedigger

Next weeks Run # 1429
Venue:Franschhoek: Ottersbend Lodge. ( From Franschhoek main road, turn right at La Provance sign, proceed 1.5km (over river) to t'junction, left into Dassenberg,?proceed 1.5km, Ottersbend Lodge will be on the left. ( Call Chris 0834583836 if lost).
Time: 16h00
Hare: ? ?Fracshhoek Hash
Scribe:? Gargoyle.
?
Wednesdays Run: ALPHEN HOTEL, BOER N" BRIT, CONSTANTIA. 6.30PM.
?
Parties and Socials:
?
Weekend away: April 11/12/13 Franschoek? WE NEED YOUR MONEY BY WEDNESDAY AT THE LATEST
?
We need to confirm numbers ? email Easy Rider to let her know if you will be going hash@crss.co.za
?
Costs R300 PP for weekend
R185 if you are only going for the Saturday night
Children under 16 half price R150
?
(Don?t contact Koeksuster as she will be going to sea for work until 15 April and will not be available)
?
Last weeks run # 1428 ? ?:???????????????????????? Hare:JAN(F'ING LAZY,MEAN BASTARD) KLEIN
?
Having battled power cuts, petrol and interest hikes, the pack gathered on a cold wintery afternoon expecting a well marked , well numbered , many booze stopped run (as the last run), sadly we were to be greatly disappointed. The hare, having just returned from Oz with his bum chum Derelict, having spent too much , was devoid of funds for booze stops and chalk for marking! Also to add insult to injury, the hare set and conducted the run from his lofty perch atop el cheapo mountain bike,( having pulled a hammstring while indulging in strange love making with Derelict).
At 17.10pm the run commenced, proceeding around the shopping center up thru bush toward Victoria Rd. Leading the pack were Heranus, Naughty but Nice and Mr Fuckit. Heranus was seen chasing children in a bakkie and was promptly castigated by Long Drop and his good lady for terrorizing little children. Boblet took the lead and the pack followed up Hout Bay toward Mariner's Wharf, where the runners met the "knitting circle". Blowbeans was heard to mention about the chronic lack of beans on the run, even the hash woofers, leading Snake Charmer, were taking strain due to lack of beans. Meanwhile at the back, Blabbermouth and chums, were lamenting on the lack of Hout Bay business not using Blabbermouth's recycled ('" fell off the back of a truck") cash registers! Home run was found and the pack skipped across the beach to the ON, ON.
Thanks to Jan Klein for a cool run, but hey, MORE F'ING BOOZE STOPS!!!!!!!!?
?
Ceremony: R /A ? Snake Charmer
Sinners:
Heranus, Blowbeans, Jan Klein, Mr Fuckit, Boblet, newly baptised Dribbles.
?
ON ON
HERANUS.

HASH TRASH 30/3/08

2008-04-01T14:11:00.000-07:00

HASH TRASH 23/3/08

2008-03-27T01:38:00.000-07:00

Newsletter below
Summer Weekend Away * 11-13 April 2008
R300-00 per person for the whole weekendR185-00 per person if you are coming for Saturday night only
More Info*.
Otter's Bend Lodge, in the heart of the Franschhoek Valley, is the idealcountry getaway for city dwellers...Dassenberg Road, Franschhoek

Otter's Bend Lodge is a unique backpackers', hikers' and travellers'lodge offering a self-catering or bed and breakfast base from which toexplore the Western Cape Winelands and Franschhoek.
Otter's Bend Lodge is situated on a farm, in the heart of theFranschhoek Valley, surrounded by wine and fruit farms. A foot trackleads you off Dassenberg Road through pear orchard down to theFranschhoek River. You will find Otter's Bend Lodge nestled in amongstpoplars, oaks and yellowwoods on the banks of a bend in the river * anature lover's dream. Its tranquil rustic ambience makes it hard tobelieve that it is only a 15 minute walk or 5 minute drive to the centreof Franschhoek village.
The log cabins and communal living area will quickly absorb you intothis "gem of a spot" where the whispering of the wind in the trees andthe rush of the river, as it makes its way round the bend, tend tocommand a peaceful silence that is appreciated by all the Otter'svisitors.
Although the Otter leaves the welcome to the humans and the domesticanimals, he makes his presence felt in his tracks left on the sand andhis pathways along the riverbank.
In amongst the orchards, with access to the communal area and pool, isthe camping area. Camping is limited to three two-man tents.
So Book your spot now. We need to know numbers please. You can pay Helgar, Gutterguts, Blabbermouth, Easy Rider from thisSunday Onwards at the run

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master - Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master - Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash - Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash -Colleen - Mother Inferior
On Sec - Hilary - Helgar
Guardian Angel - Vanessa - Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss
Hash Web Wench - Leanne - Easy Rider
Religious Advisor - Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor walkers - Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat - Dan - Gravedigger

(Comment: please save this hash trash format and use it as a template format for all newsletters. This keeps track of run numbers, receding hareline, attendance, events, etc..Thanks)
NOTE FROM Religious Advisor - I see AT LAST the hash trash format has been corrected - I AM NOT Racing Snake I AM SNAKE CHARMER please make sure you use the CORRECT hash trash format AS I DO NOT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE DAVE JENKINS! Any transgression will be SEVERELY punished.

Next weeks Run # 1427 :
Venue: the superette next to the British Bulldog in Kommetjie - you can park in the road by the Bulldog - drive from Sun Valley into Kommetjie and you will see the Bulldog on the left hand side just before the Superette and opposite Fisherman's Pub.
Time: 17h00
Hare: Snake Charmer
Scribe: Jan Klein

Wednesdays Run:
Fat Cactus, Durban Rd, Mowbray

Parties and Socials:

Weekend away: April 11/12/13 Franschoek WE NEED YOUR MONEY NOW, PLEASE BRING PAYMENT NEXT WEEK AS IT IS ONLY TWO WEEKS AWAY

We need to confirm numbers - email Easy Rider to let her know if you will be going hash@crss.co.za

Costs R300 PP for weekend
R185 if you are only going for the Saturday night
Children under 16 half price R150

(Don't contact Koeksuster as she will be going to sea for work until 15 April and will not be available)

Last weeks run # 1426 : Hare: Blabbermouth

THE GRAND EASTER EGG RUN
The hare announced a live run of 8 checks with 5 chicken deposits at each. Instructions were given that no one could check it out for the way forward until all the eggs at the check were found and wrappers must be returned at the end of the run as proof and by his calculation this would be 40 wrappers, well what nonsense. He also announced he had placed a spy amongst us to report any cheating.
I will never buy a cash register from this hare. he announced check 4 was a regroup but it was actually check 5, check 1 didn't exist, check 5 didn't have any eggs. you get my drift. so there were actually only 30 eggs to be found, I hope his cash registers add up better than he does.
Anyway, the run commenced 7 minutes after the Hare left ( he didn't deserve the 10 minutes he asked for) and check 2 was soon found. The Hash Hounds proved to be utterly useless as sniffer dogs and didn't find one egg between them on the whole run, clearly they prefer sniffing each others bottoms to those of chickens and Flower Power obviously prefers eating flour to chocolate.
After much faffing around 5 eggs were found and eaten and the runners and walkers all progressed to the next checks until reaching the regroup at check FIVE not 4. After consuming some green beer which Blabbermouth had finally extracted from the barrel, presumably by drilling a hole (complete with green bogies allegedly from Blabbermouth's nose, it must have been a tough job getting the beer out), the refreshed mob set off to chase the Hare down again.
At the next check several budding junior hashers appeared out of nowhere having spotted us searching in the bushes and rocks. perhaps they thought we were looking for a drug stash but they were keen to help when choccy eggs were revealed to be the target. They managed to find most of the eggs at the next couple of checks and had no problem in guzzling them all as well. Alas the Hash Hounds were useless lumps of fur.
The run finally ended and more green beer was consumed, yum yum.

Ceremony: R /A - Snake Charmer
Sinners:
Hare : Blabbermouth
And goody goody spies - yes there were more than one, in fact there were so many it would have been cheaper to give the non-spies a down down, they included Keel Over, Hermanus, Koeksuster I think and a few others

Gargoyle who had a birthday on GOOD Friday, that has to be an oxymoron

Blabbermouth again for his appalling check numbering and calculating ability

All those who didn't find an egg, once again a few too many to recall them all but included Dutch Cap, Long Drop, the esteemed RA who was trying to train the Hounds and so was handicapped

Hermanus - for arguing with the RA about the make up of the green beer - as the RA has devoted her entire life to testing as many different beers as possible she is bound to know best

Attendance:
Blabbermouth, thunderthighs, blowbeans, gargoyle, michail, keel over, long drop, snake charmer, koeksuster, hermanus, pussy galore(lolly), dutch cap, graverobber, jagsmeisie, boblet
Everyone mentioned above plus a few others of no consequence

Hareline
1427 30-Mar BULLWANKER JAN KLEIN 1428 6-Apr JAN KLEIN 1429 13-Apr w/e away HERMANUS 1430 20-Apr HERMANUS GARGOYLE 1431 27-Apr GARGOYLE BOBLET 1432 4-May BOBLET PUSSY GALORE 1433 11-May PUSSY GALORE PADAMS 1434 18-May PADAMS WONDERBRA 1435 25-May WONDERBRA SUCKFACE 1436 1-Jun SUCKFACE GUTTERGUTS 1437 8-Jun GUTTERGUTS DERELICT 1438 15-Jun DERELICT KEEL OVER 1439 22-Jun KEEL OVER CROC 1440 29-Jun CROC MR DICK 1441 6-Jul MR DICK BYPASS 1442 13-Jul BYPASS BONE IDLE 1443 20-Jul BONE IDLE TWINPEAKS 1444 27-Jul TWINPEAKS

On-On
Snake Charmer

HASH TRASH 16/3/08

2008-03-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master – Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash – Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash –Colleen – Mother Inferior
On Sec – Hilary - Helgar
Guardian Angel – Vanessa – Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor walkers – Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat - Dan – Gravedigger

(Comment: please save this hash trash format and use it as a template format for all newsletters. This keeps track of run numbers, receding hareline, attendance, events, etc….Thanks)

Next weeks Run # 1426 :
Woodbridge Island, Milnerton also known as “Millerton”.
Time: 17h00
Hare: Blabbermouth
Scribe: Snake Charmer “BullWanker”

Wednesdays Run:
UCT Sports club
Time: 18h30

Events
Two Oceans water table this Saturday 22 March. We will meet at Nags Head at 6.30am to go up in as few cars as possible. We need helping hands so please lets make an effort to be there.

Breakfast will be served afterwards at Guttergut’s pad, 3 Driver Street Lakeside.

Weekend Away;
11-13 April 2008
The Otter Bend Franchhoek

R300 p/p for the two nights.
R185 p/p for Saturday night only
Children’s prices to be advised

This includes a meal and dessert on Saturday night and catering supplied by our hosts.

Please let us know ASAP, as we need to book.

Last weeks run # 1425 : Hare: Long Drop

On this fine and glorious day we all met at the common for Longdrop’s virgin St Patrick’s Day run, and little did everyone know that we were going to have FREE green beer, compliments of Mitchell’s Breweries.

10 checks were called and a booze stop so there was no messing about as everyone went looking for the booze stop, I was just keen to get my hands on a nice cold green beer. It wasn’t long before the conversations took a very interesting turn when Boblet and Jan Klein started sharing stories on how to get rid of pubic lice, which it seems is concerning the medical fraternity. I suppose it could make for a good coffee table book, “Scratch your way to success”, by Ineeda Scratch otherwise known as Boblet; and then there was Hermanus sharing his ideas with Blabbermouth about his book called Design-a-Vagina. I don’t think this man has had “it” for a few weeks now as he is starting to show signs of withdrawal symptoms.

It was at check 5 that I lost the pack, or maybe it was the fact that I needed that beer, so I headed off back to the chariots to prepare the beer, but alas it was not to be as there was a problem with the gas pipes which meant that I was only able to get a small sliver of a sip. Even with Gargoyle and Derelict desperately trying to get the beer to pour out, it was just not going to happen. So there we were all staring, drooling, at this 30-liter keg of beer, unable to even get a sip. But there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and no thanks to Eskom, our favorite supplier has decanted it into bottles for us to enjoy. I must just make a mental note to get them cold before the next run.

Great first run Longdrop.

Sinners

Hare and Co-hare – Longdrop and gargoyle
Boblet (Ineeda Scratch) – Sharing his interesting stories
Hermanus sharing his stories and Blabbermouth for having to listen to them
Koeksuster showed us how to use the arm, followed by Longdrop

I am sure there were others but I can’t remember as I was to depressed about not getting green beer.
Till next time.

HASH TRASH 9/3/08

2008-03-11T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hash run#1424
9 March 2007

Location:
Glencairn Road, at the top of some koppie.

Hare:
Koeksuster

We started the run with three falsies, in fact not even on the right mountain…good start. Thereafter we engaged in some serious bundu bashing through some rather prickly shite which came up to knee height, well on me anyway – a little higher on some others but one mustn’t name names. Keelover wore a trackpants, what did she know that we didn’t?

We met the walkers at a booze stop, the first of three organised by Koeksuster, before setting off again at a hectic walk, all we could manage on the terrain. The hare, and co-hares and here, your humble scribe has to hold his hand up, lost the trail but we stumbled on it again. Then running down dunes like ADHD kids before slogging our way up a 12 minute run back to the chariots.

Ceremony:
Held at snake charmer’s pad, in honour of her birthday, a real gentleman doesn’t ask a lady’s age.

RA: Gutterguts

Sinners:
Hare: Koeksuster
Co-hares: Keel-over
Longdrop

Pussy galore (short-cutting), snake charmer ( a few times), some random people attending snake charmer’s bash, Gargoyle (can’t remember why)

In attendance:
Koeksuster, Keel-over, Gargoyle, Blodwynleek, Jan Klein, Boblet, Helgar, Mr Dick, the !!???, oh Phuket I’ve forgotten their names, Derelict, Mother Inferior, Pussy Galore, snot goblin, curry bum, Mikhail, Croc, Bypass and Patsy at the ceremony.

Wednesday’s run: Southern Right hotel
Sunday’s run: Rondebosch common, on the Rustenburg Side parking lot. Wear something green in honour of St. Paddy’s day, prize for best costume and may the Leprechaun’s preserve you.

On on,Longdrop

HASH TRASH 2/3/08

2008-03-05T02:00:00.000-08:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master – Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash – Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash –Colleen – Mother Inferior
On Sec – Hilary - Helgar
Guardian Angel – Vanessa – Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor walkers – Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat - Dan – Gravedigger

(Comment: please save this hash trash format and use it as a template format for all newsletters. This keeps track of run numbers, receding hareline, attendance, events, etc….Thanks)

Next weeks Run # 1424 :
Venue: On Glencairn Rd on right hand side is a gravel parking lot at the start of the Perdekloof Hiking trail. (so go over Ou Kaapse weg, Continue over 4 way stop/robot towards Glencairn and you will spot it on your right hand side as you go over the hill).
Time: 17h00
Hare: Koeksuster
Scribe: Longdrop

Wednesdays Run:
Rascals, Rosmead ave 18h30

Parties and Socials:

50th B’day Party!!! after Sunday's run there is On On at Snake Charmer's - 59 Francolin Road
> Sunnydale - as many of you know it is my 50th on Sunday 9th March.
> No big late thrash like last year as I have to work in Porterville the next day,
> but I will be having a bring and braai in the evening - all welcome so
> long as you come self-sufficient!
> As I am working away next week then cycling the Argus I won't have time
> to organise anything except wood /coal so please come and have a beer or
> two with me, bring a chop and a dop and salad or whatever - and a
> chair if you need one. If I haven't finished cycling someone else
> will be there lighting the fire - the show will go on!
> Absolutely no birthday presents allowed but if you haven't yet
> sponsored me for the Argus sponsorship still welcome.
> Hope to see you all
> cheers
> Yvonne

Last weeks run # 1419 : Hare: Bone Idle
Bone Idle lived up to his name and only thought about setting his run about an hour before it was to start. Hence at 5h10pm the hare only returned from setting the run. The pack in the meantime started to look for the trail, doing a falsie up the mountain where Gutterguts sprained an ankle before even getting any real exercise.
Upon arriving at the run start the hare pointed us in the correct direction towards UCT. The marking in chalk were not too visible, but a flour blob every now and then kept us on track. The trail then went past Mostert’s Mill down the hill and then right towards the sports fields from where it turned down again towards the main road in Rondebosch. We crossed the main road to the canal path and ran along the canal, only to eventually turn uphill and work our way back to Rhodes Memorial up Princess Anne Drive.
Considering how Bone Idle is always the first to grab a beer at the booze stop, the lack of booze stop on his own run was really disappointing. We were thirsty and hot on the run..

Ceremony: R /A – Jan Klein and Wonderbra in ‘training for RA maybe’
Sinners:
Hare : Bone Idle
Bone Idle and Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss on their engagement – Congratulations
Gutterguts, Blabbermouth, Bone Idle for physical and mental injuries
Returning feet Brian,

Attendance:
Gutterguts, Helgar, Currybum, Snot goblin, Keelover, Longdrop, Koeksuster, Derelict, Mrs Inferior, Tinkerbell, Peter Pan, Boblet, Hermanus, Bone idle,Rrancid Scotty weasel piss, Blabbermouth, Blowbeans, Thunderthighs, Our Fuck-it crew (Phuket), Grave robber, Jan Klein, Blodwynleek, Brian, some new guy with Fuck-it crew

Hareline
1424
9-Mar
KOEKSUSTER
LONGDROP
1425
16-Mar
LONGDROP
BLABBERMOUTH
1426
23-Mar
BLABBERMOUTH
BULLWANKER.
1427
30-Mar
BULLWANKER
JAN KLEIN
1428
6-Apr
JAN KLEIN
HERMANUS
1429
13-Apr
HERMANUS
GRAVEDIGGER
1430
20-Apr
GRAVEDIGGER
GARGOYLE
1431
27-Apr
GARGOYLE
BOBLET
1432
4-May
BOBLET
PUSSY GALORE
1433
11-May
PUSSY GALORE
PADAMS
1434
18-May
PADAMS
WONDERBRA
1435
25-May
WONDERBRA
SUCKFACE
1436
1-Jun
SUCKFACE
GUTTERGUTS
1437
8-Jun
GUTTERGUTS
DERELICT
1438
15-Jun
DERELICT
KEEL OVER
1439
22-Jun
KEEL OVER
CROC
1440
29-Jun
CROC
MR DICK
1441
6-Jul
MR DICK
BYPASS
1442
13-Jul
BYPASS
BONE IDLE
1443
20-Jul
BONE IDLE
TWINPEAKS
1444
27-Jul
TWINPEAKS

On-OnKoeksuster

HASH TRASH 24 FEB

2008-03-01T01:02:00.000-08:00

Hash Trash Friday 29 February (Lucky there is an extra day this year or there wouldn't have been time to type this master piece)

Committee: some brilliant (stupid) bunch of people
(must be to do this job)

Next week’s run: Let me explain... It will happen on Sunday 2 March 2008 at the bottom entrance to Rhodes Memorial, the car park next to the gates on the right (the old Zoo parking area) If you drive up the hill and arrive at that old Stone relic of colonialism (Rhodes Memorial) you are a pommy twat or a daft prick because you have gone too far. Time : 17h00
Wednesday's Run: You were either there or you weren't this will help you sod all because its now Friday and ,as is the case every week Wednesday is 2 days before Friday, but it was at another bastion of ancient colonial days "Ollie's"
The run that was…..24 February 2008 Run number: 1422
This took place in keeping with the whole colonial theme we have at present in St Georges Street Simonstown. The hare (Mr. Dick)aka Bugs Bunny being an authentic pom to boot, ok it may be way back in his past but he came into being on that wet cold murky island and the whole colonial thing is just so yesterday as well.
Anyway Bone Idle decided to try and get into this colonial revival thing and decided to go visit another relic of colonialism. As a result of his enquiring mind and spirit of adventure he was not able to witness the colonial event in Simonstown but all those whom I didn't ask said it was a fantastic event.
In the meantime Bone Idle was many miles away. On arriving on the other side of the world he was dismayed to find this colonial relic had been broken into 2 parts. In real apartheid fashion, it was labeled North and South and a large tract of water shoved in between probably to prevent the locals mixing and having too much fun. This tract of water was named after another pommy bastard of nautical orientation namely James Cook.
Bone Idle decided to explore the northern bit first and while covering this territory discovered a relative "Debbie does Dallas" who was having a snot goblin christened, poor bastard was apparently going to be known from that day on as 'Neil Graham Bennet" and they all wondered why he burps, farts and makes so many loud noises but we won't explain that to them now will we.
After this ceremonial event concluded Bone Idle decided to get into the conquering spirit of yester year and attempt to cross the apartheid barrier and roam the savage country of South Island.On these travels Bone Idle discovered many wonderful picturesque places and large areas on open wilderness. Apparently after the first few colonialists arrived the rest back on the murky island in the northern hemisphere lost their compasses and sense of direction probably sense as well because none of the rest could find their way to this paradise of beaches, sand flies, glaciers, ski fields and huge lakes, rivers and waterfalls.
At one such beautiful place on the shores of a turquoise blue lake, rung by snow capped mountains and with tiny little stone church and a monument to a sheep dog in the background, Bonne Idle was overcome and proposed, NO not to the sheepdog you deranged bastards. All to soon, but not until after the colonial event in Simonstown had concluded in our absence, it was time to head for home.
Unfortunately between Quaint Ass from Sydney to Jhb and Savage Airways from Jhb To Cape Town half our exploring equipment vanished and only reappeared 3 days later.
Good to be home. Did you miss me?? DON'T ANSWER THAT!!!
ON ON
Bone Idle

HASH TRASH 17 FEB

2008-02-17T03:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=15423&l=c320e&id=8152237980

The RED Byepass Run

Well what to say, running (slowly) in a flapping red dress into the wind, Byepass managed to achieve a run into the wind in every direction we ran, clever or what.

There was an excellent turnout many new feet, good to see.

Nothing more to say about the run except that there are still people missing after to false trail, or was that false trial, to Kalk Bay.

The RA conducted the famous circle and some of the sinners where as follows,
The Hare Byepass of course, no co hare
2 pairs of returning feet
many new feet from a far
some welsh bird for not wearing a red dress
thanks given to the support for the Peninsula water table from Croc,

from the walkers Blowbeans gave a down down to the lady in white and he enjoyed the view too much.
Some Phuket boys sinned also.
The arm drink was provided for the best red dress, no handbag.

Next Sunday's run is from The Sweetest Thing 82 St George's Street Simon's Town start 17.00 prompt

ON ON

HASH TRASH - 10/2/08

2008-02-12T11:46:00.000-08:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master – Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash – Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash –Colleen – Mother Inferior
On Sec – Hilary - Helgar
Guardian Angel – Vanessa – Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor walkers – Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat - Dan – Gravedigger

Next weeks Run # 1421 :
Venue: Croc and Patsy’ pad
Time: 17h00 THIS IS A RED DRESS RUN – its for charity, so wear that red dress.
Hare: Bypass
Scribe: Mr Dick

Wednesdays Run:
Toni’s on Kloof, Kloof Street, Gardens 18h30…Have Mozambique/Portuguese style food
Hare Jan Klein

Parties and Socials:
17 February – Red Dress Run, which as you all know is the hash charity run – Please bring R5 to do the run and the money will go to a charity. Bring as many people as possible to walk or run so we can raise as much money as possible. The money goes to a charity giving poor people (with for instance cerebral palsy) access to occupational therapy amongst other things.

9 March – Snake charmer’s B’day. She is riding Argus. Koeksuster will set run and there will be a bring and braai at Snake charmer’s pad afterwards

WEEKEND AWAY
April 11-13 Weekend away at Beaverlack near Porterville. PLEASE LET LEANNE KNOW IF YOU PLAN TO GO, SO SHE CAN HAVE AN IDEA OF HOW MANY CHALETS TO BOOK hash@crss.co.za

Last weeks run # 1420 : Hare: Koeksuster
It was pouring with rain all day, so it was a miracle that my markings were still there. We gathered at the entrance of the Sunbird environmental centre on Ou Kaapse Weg. The trail went a little way up Ou Kaapse Weg and then onto the Old Wagon wheel trail (which incidentally was never actually used as a wagon trail). At check 2, I was mean and sent the runners on a long falsie, to give the walkers a chance to get ahead on the run. Late cummer Her_anus of course missed the falsie and went left with the walkers. The trail wound up the mountain, down the mountain through a gate into Noordhoek and just for fun went back up the mountain to check 7 – the awesome view booze spot. The walkers made it as well, though Blowbeans bitched and moaned about his knees. The walkers made their way back to the chariots, while the runners worked their way to Silvermine road, crossed over, scaled a fence and went up onto the next mountainous route. The route wound on forever. You could see the end of the trail and the beers, but you felt that you would never get there.
At the end of the run our 3 (PH)Fucket t-shirt wearing friends from the Meadowridge run turned up. They were late and missed the trail and did their own run.

Ceremony: R /A – Snake charmer and derelict
Sinners:
Hare : Koeksuster
Idiots who
Did the runHer_anus for the usual
Guest Dave-Wings from Kosovo
Koeksuster – hell I can’t remember what for
New runners Trevor, Mark and Nicole
Boblet - ? Don’t remember what for
Blowbeans - ?
And a bunch of other down downs which totally escapes me

Attendance:
Gutterguts, Keelover, Longdrop, Koeksuster, Snake charmer, Boblet, Hermanus, Blabbermouth, Blowbeans, Thunderthighs, Birdbrain, new- Mark, Trevor, Nicole.3 Phuket t-shirt wearing guys – I need your names

HASH TRASH 3 FEB 08

2008-02-04T04:23:00.000-08:00

Committee members: 2007/8
Grand master – Anthony - Blabbermouth
Hash Master – Lieze - Koeksuster
Hash cash – Bruce - Gutterguts
Hash Haberdash –Colleen – Mother Inferior
On Sec – Hilary - Helgar
Guardian Angel – Vanessa – Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss
Hash Web Wench – Leanne – Easy Rider
Religious Advisor – Yvonne ( Ian will stand in if Yvonne ever away) - Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor walkers – Derek - Derelict
Mountain Goat - Dan – Gravedigger

(Comment: please save this hash trash format and use it as a template format for all newsletters. This keeps track of run numbers, receding hareline, attendance, events, etc….Thanks)

Next weeks Run # 1420 :
Venue: At entrance to sunbird environmental centre on Ou Kaapse Weg
Time: 17h00
Hare: Koeksuster
Scribe: Bypass

Wednesdays Run:
Some club where girls are not allowed – I think Ollie’s? 18h30
Wednesday 6th run is at Olympics Sports Club ,Station Rd, Rondebosch followed by a bring and braai...

Parties and Socials:
17 February(for Valentines day) – Red Dress Run, which as you all know is the hash charity run – Please bring R5 to do the run and the money will go to a charity. Bring as many people as possible to walk or run so we can raise as much money as possible. The money goes to a charity giving poor people (with for instance cerebral palsy) access to occupational therapy amongst other things.

April 11-13 Weekend away at Beaverlack near Porterville

Last weeks run # 1419 : Hare: Gutterguts
Well, some gathered t the R10 parking where the run was advertised to be. Gutterguts changed it to the R5 parking on the other side of Ou Kaapse weg. Eventually we all made it to the start when we told it would be a one way run and that keys had to go to the walkers.
We set off up the mountain and the guests that Keelover and Long Drop brought included some real runners. Young Nicole just totally ran away from us keeping up with Her_anus. Mark was not far behind. After a steep climb we reach check 5 for the first booze stop. After some paint stripper witblits we carried on up the mountain and the realization set in that we are actually running to Gutterguts’ pad in lakeside – a @#$% long run. At check 9 our front runner Her_anus decided to carry on straight. After not finding markings after 100m decides not to turn back and do the true trail like a good hasher. Instead he thought he would eventually get back to the pack via another route. Well, all I can say is that the short cut turned out to be a very long cut to Muizenberg. Tsk! Shame, it could not have happened to a nicer guy was the general comment at the booze stop at check 10. From there the run was a steep downhill to Boyes drive and a long home run to lakeside. By the time I got back to Gutterguts’ pad, it was 18h35 and the gate closed at 19h00 to get our cars out. Derelict, Boblet, Rancid Scotty Weasel Piss, Her_anus and I grabbed all the car keys we could find and rushed to get all the cars out. Unfortunately we forgot about Mr Dick, but Bone Idle came to his rescue and took Mr Dick to fetch his car.
All in all, a wonderful run, though long.

Ceremony: R /A – Snake charmer and derelict
Sinners:
Hare : Gutterguts Co hare: Bone Idle, Blowbeans
Idiots who Did the run
Her_anus for the long cut, not sticking to route, etc
Koeksuster – hell I can’t remember what for
New runners Laurencius, Trevor, Mark and Nicole
– hope to see you again
Boblet - ? Don’t remember what for
Blowbeans - ?
And a bunch of other down downs which totally escapes me

Attendance:
Gutterguts, Helgar, Currybum, Snot goblin, Keelover, Longdrop, Koeksuster, Mr Dick, Derelict, Mrs Inferior, Snake charmer, Boblet, Hermanus, Bone idle,Rrancid Scotty weasel piss, Blabbermouth, Blowbeans, Thunderthighs, new- Mark, Laurencius, Trevor, Nicole.

On-OnKoeksuster

HASH TRASH 27 JAN

2008-02-02T01:41:00.001-08:00

OKAY OKAY IT IS ALREADY FRIDAY! DO NOT KILL THE MESSENGER GIVE GUTTERGUTS A WATER DOWN DOWN (NOT BEER HE WILL ENJOY IT TOOO MUCH) ON SUNDAY!

RIGHT HERE GOES …..

SUNDAY, 3RD FEBRUARY’S RUN – SILVERMINE, PARKING AREA ON THE LEFT JUST PAST THE MAIN GATE

(BOEREWORS ROLLS AFTERWARDS SO BRING YOUR MONEY)

WEDNESDAY – IT IS PASSED BUT……… NEXT WEDNESDAY’S RUN Olympics Sports Club ,Station Rd, Rondebosch followed by a bring and braai

THE RUN THAT WAS …….

Suckface (the hare), called ON ON at the Meadowridge Tennis Club a fraction of a moment after 17h30, because he was waiting for his co-hare, who did not arrive after all (either he had a ghost co-hare, or the co-hare had other distractions!)

So off the pack set, some opting to run with the wind & others opting to run against it. Who needs hills when the wind pumps like it has been blowing lately! The run headed off in the direction of Bergvliet. First it meandered through Meadowridge before crossing Kendal Road into Bergvliet from here the run proceeded towards Doordrift Road (lower Constantia …. Or upper Grassy Park?). It was at this point that we started heading back towards home, running past Timour Hall back towards Kendal Road. Just after crossing Kendal Road, home run was found and off we went towards the Chariots and more importantly COLD BEER & boerewors rolls!?

Order was called and all the sinners were duly punished, but the sinner of the week, went to the GM, who sin overshadowed all the other sins (and there were plenty), even RULE #1.

The GM promised hashers FOOD and failed to produce any food AT ALL! The beverage was cold, the company good, but there was non of the promised WORS!

Now we are still considering a suitable punishment, if anybody has any ideas, let me know! Eg make him pay for 2 rounds, give him a down down of something really vile (like a beer through one of gutterguts’ socks), you get the idea!

ON ON

SEE YOU ALL SUNDAY, GET UP OUT OF YOUR LAZY CHAIRS/BED (THE CRICKET IS FINISHED ETC)

GUTTERGUTS

HASH TRASH 20/1/08

2008-01-21T03:34:00.001-08:00

NO HASH TRASH FROM SUCKFACE ON WONDERBRAS RUN NEWLANDS POOL

HASH TRASH 13/1/08

2008-01-13T21:55:00.000-08:00

Appologies from the Scribe Wonderbra....there is no Hash Trash for this run enjoy the Photos of Flo's farewell which took place afterwards

the run was from the Main gate Kirstenbosch the Hare was Padams

Farewell to Flo (re locating to Rustenburg), Not Half Bad(visitor going back to Ireland) and hello back to Tipsey Tart.......ex cthhh visiting from the UK

HASH TRASH - 6/1/08

2008-01-08T00:08:00.000-08:00

Cape Town Hash House Harriers
Sunday’s run 6 Jan 2008-01-07

Hare Pussy Galore took the pack to Check One and after milling around, the runners joined the walkers for a stroll ujp the mountain to the first regroup, where various liquids were consumed.

The walkers departed down the mountain, runners going up and circling back to the start. All runners appeared very happy with run. Hash was aghast to find that we had lost Boblet and Irish Git. However, all were pleased when Irish Git returned late, but he brought Boblet with him.

Nice run, Pussy Galore.

Derelict as acting (unpaid) RA then picked on several walkers to the delight of many. Then the real RA, Snakecharmer, took over and there were interminable down-downs too numerous to mention, with the exception of Irish Git, who is going back to Ireland on Tuesday. Thanks for the chocolates.

Pussy Galore and Snakecharmer kept the level of expletives high, thus discouraging people from bringing families along. Keep it up, girls. Hash dog was given hash handle “Flower Power”, derived from its propensity to eat the trail markings. Hash Files (as in Bureaucracy) were put in the circle but nobody seemed to want them.

Receding Hare Line: 20 Jan Wonderbra
27 Jan Suckface

Wednesday Run: Da Vincis, 2nd Avenue, Claremont. 18:30

Next Sunday’s Run: 13 Jan
Outside main entrance, Kirstenbosch. 17:00
After run On On at Underdog’s house: Bring and Braai: Gandhi’s going away braai. Give Don and Cheryl a good send-off!

On, On

PADAMS

SUNDAY 13 JANUARY BAY-TO-BAY WATER TABLE
PLEASE TALK TO BRUCE 083 454 5558

CALLING ALL HASHERS (AND FRIENDS, FAMILY, ANYBODY ELSE YOU CAN BRIBE) ………

WATER TABLE FUN IS HERE!

WHICH ONE: ALWAYS A FAVOURITE – THE BAY TO BAY

WHERE: SAME TABLE AS LAST YEAR, JUST PAST THE 12 APOSTLES

WHEN: THIS SUNDAY, 13 JANUARY

TIME: RUN STARTS AT 06H30 (FIRST RUNNER EXPECTED AT 06H48) (GUTTERGUTS WILL BE THERE FROM 05H30) SO PLEASE BE THERE AROUND 06H00 – 06H15 TO SET UP

INCENTIVE: SKOTTLE BREAKFAST PROVIDED BETWEEN RUNNERS GOING PAST & COMING BACK.

WE NEED AS MANY HANDS AS POSSIBLE – SO COME JOIN THE FUN – KIDS WELCOME!

HASH TRASH 30/12/07

2007-12-31T14:43:00.000-08:00

Hash Trash

Thursday’s Run: NB! THURSDAY 3 January 2008. Tinkerbell’s pad, Winters Wines, Newlands, at 18h30.

Next Sunday’s Run: 6 January 2008, Boyes Drive, Muizenberg/St James boundary at 17h00.

The Run That Was:
All manner of hashers descended on Koeksister’s family home in Vermont, that’s in the Western Cape, near Hermanus, not in the smelly old USA. The first thing this Pussy did was start to purr and sniff all of Koeksister se Mama’s wonderful plants in her garden. ‘Twas a sight for sore eyes indeed.

Hash proceeded in a mannerly (amazing!) direction towards the sound of baying hounds. The neighbouring canines serenaded us as we ran, walked, skipped and plodded on our way. Uphill, downhill and finally we came to a tranquil lake and regroup at check 4. We waited long enough for Boblet to catch up, could hear him coming as his heart-rate monitor was screaming blue murder by that stage, and we headed off again.

I was gaily skipping along on the path bordering the edge of the homes and the beautiful lake in a dazed dreamy state because of the alluring placid surroundings when suddenly, a huge great slobbering hound with withers as high as my shoulders and gleaming red eyes with looooooooong sharp shining teeth came bounding up in a snarling rage and tried to bite my head off in one go. Before my eyes flashed the scene from the movie Beowulf when the monster Grendl bit off the warrior’s head and stuffed the rest of the body in his mouth and chomped him all up. I found myself screaming and backed into a bush when the hound from hell’s master arrived to rescue a pussy in distress, well actually in near cardiac arrest mode.

From there on my whiskers were twitching and I was on high alert for all forms of canine barbarian beasts but the only other beasts I saw were wearing hash T-shirts. We ran along next to the sea and Keelover was heard to express orgiastic delight at the sight of the rock pools. She was gently persuaded to continue with the run and to leave the barnacles and perlemoen to play with later. Check 9 was another regroup with a booze stop with all hashers sprinting the final stretch when they caught a whiff of the beer and alcoholic water being passed around. From there on it was supposed to be a mere 500 m back to home and more booze and further gastronomic delights but it felt more like 5 km. But eventually all arrived home safely at the Koeksister family haven, even Boblet, whose heart rate monitor was still sending out distress signals.

Our sincerest thanks to Mama and Papa Koeksister for their hospitality and loaning us their wonderful home for the day.

Sinners:
Mal-befoek and Keelover – for not wearing hash T-shirts in the circle.
Mama and Papa Koeksister for hosting us and allowing us to wreck their home.
Visiting feet, Lady Paw-Paw and Hotpants, from Mauritius.
Dutchcap for wearing breasts in the circle and Pussy Galore for not having any breasts to wear.
Hare – Koeksister for the run of the year.
Koeksister se broer for being beaten by a woman (drinking).
Boblet for feigning a sore shoulder so he could run at the back.
Hermanus, the RA, for his addiction to chocolate cupcakes.

ON ON!
Pussy Galore

HASH TRASH 23/12/07

2007-12-23T13:29:00.000-08:00

Dear hashers

Announcements:
Wednewday's Run at 18h30 from Pedlars On The Bend, Constantia.

Next Sunday's Run 30 December 2007 - Cnr of Gwarring and Siffie Rd, Vermont, Hermanus - 11h00.
Directions: Take N2 and take Hermanus turn off. 2kms after Hawston, there is a turn off to the right. The sign says Vermont,Linx Lane. Turn right here and drive to the T-junction. At the T-junction turn left into Siffie Rd. Go over speedbump and at the next T-Junction look to the right to see a yellow face brick house. - This is the run location.
Give yourself a hour and a half to get there.

The run that was....
We all met at Boblet's pad. After milling around for a bit we were off. We worked our way to the main road and then into the neighbourhood with every possible piece of greenbelt inbetween houses used as trail. Eventually we land up back on the main rd at the Lakeside Robot. Just as I thought home run was in sight, the trail crossed all lanes of traffic into the back of Kirstenhof and along a nice little stream to a check. Here is where Boblet turned into a little shit. As if it was not enough that he, Blabbermouth and gargoyle walked just about the whole trail. Here they hung back so the rest of us could do a &$@#! long falsie. Upon return we found these three bastards sitting on a parkbench waiting for us like 3 old men. From there the trail led back homeward bound against the strong southeaster wind.

Sinners
Boblet - Hare
Boblet, Gargoyle, Blabbermouth - being grumpy old men on a bench
Not half bad aka Mal befok! - for being an irish bugger
BirdBrain - making remarks about people's level of 'brownness'
Blowbeans - For offering a lift to the RA
FMN - Returning foot - hope your holiday was great
Croc - for being late and wearing a very gay looking shirt. Mother Superior will be back next week to do laundry I hope
Gargoyle, Longdrop & TNT - for being grumpy at the start of the run
Shitshirt - Koeksuster. I sadly forgot to bring it to Hermanus and will probably have to wear it at Pussy Galore's run on the 6th

On On
Koeksuster

Boblets pad Lakeside....

HASH TRASH 9/12/07

2007-12-11T03:24:00.000-08:00

Wed Run British Bulldog Kommetjie 6.30 pm. Fish Braii after.Sun Run Klondyke Cherry Farm Ceres 1.30 pm. R12 entry. Pick cherries before the run then picnic under the pine trees.Hi Punks, yes its me Capetown's number one short-cutter and greatest hasher, ah such modesty.In true Heranus fashion i arrived late, but soon found check six and waited for the pack.Up Mill street came Mr Mills (Gutterguts), followed by Grave Robber, or Grave Digger, or Grave Person. Gutterguts was none too happy to find this scribe had gone from check one to check six and vented his frustration. Tough, tell someone who cares!Koeksuster, Gutterguts, led the pack behind San Souci school and up to the old cape water works where check seven was found. Bullwanker and Naughty but Nicepleaded with the hare to shorten this rather "hilly" little run, but to no avail, this nasty little "Grave Person" was still pissed off having just come back from holliday in the depths of an english winter, (what a wanker).The trail headed down toward Gardens, not much to report here except how CLEAN the shit shirt looked, apparently Hilda Person used OMO to clean this sacred rellic! Ah talking of relics, Blowbeans, Boblet, and Pussygalore 1 were seen debating who is going to win leadership of the ANC, well Jon ( kak being named after a toilet, excuse the pun), explained that white "Eurotrash" had no write debating what is clearly an African affair and that his very own brother, the one an only Gargoyle- No Neck (father of the chubby teenage person who plays with little toys), talks far more bullshit than Mr Zuma and Mr Mbeki, this is indeed true. Imagine having a brother hasher, a comrade wanker as leader of the ANC, Viva Gargoyle!Enough of this crap, home run was found and all proceeded back to the chariots.Many sinners, Grave Person, Hilda Person, Heranus, Gutterguts, Bullwanker, Naughty but Nice, all wankers dumb enough to have set twenty runs. If I have omitted to mention anyones name i am truly sorry. Actually i don't give a shit, now SOD OFF!!!On, OnHERANUS.

On 03 Dec 2007, at 11:46 AM, Lieze Swart wrote:
Hi ChrisI contacted Klondyke cherry farm. We have permission to run.There is R12 entry per person and then you can picnic for the entire day at their picnic spots under the pine trees. You pay for cherries you would like to take home R34/kg, but not for the ones that you eat in the orchard. Map attached.You can decide on run time. And let me know. I will then send out invite to hash as a whole with all the details.regards

HASH TRASH 2/12/07

2007-12-04T03:51:00.000-08:00

The run that was…..2 December 2007
Run number: 1410
Committee: some brilliant bunch of people

Next week’s run: Let me explain….. our good hare for next week, Grave Digger, has been homesick and so paid a short visit back to his home country and only returned last night. So while he sleeps off the free alcohol from the plane he will ponder where the run will be and let us know in due course. So watch this space!

Wednesday’s run: Fat Cactus, Mowbray (if you do not know where that is, then you are not a Capetonian!!!)

WHY IS THIS LETTER IN GREEN?
Well, the run was set in the forest, (how’s that for creativity – corny I know) okay back to the dirt! (and there was lots literally)

The hair, the honourable Jan Klein, called on on as suckface & twin peaks made lots of dust arriving in the big black mobile, he dutifully warned us about cyclists (they were not so bad after a few drinks even though they thought we were a cult!) but I digress, he also warned us about Cape Cobras (we were a bit worried it was not the reptile snakes but again I digress).

Anyway the mob, quite a few still recovering from the Xmas party the night before (thanks very much to Snake Charmer for the use of her abode – music was good even if there was no Boney M!) meandered into the distant green yonder, as Snot goblin & I took her bike for a ride down the dusty road.

On returning from our little meander, we spied TnT, hiding out listening to the cricket in Gargoyle’s chariot (without a spare tyre… short story.. it got nicked), after a brief catch up, we saw Thunder thighs come running out of the forest (literally not figativerly), I thought she had seen Jan Klein’s snake! But she was just running away from hashers’ chatter!

Next charging out of trees came Gutterguts & Herm-anus… and Gutterguts won!!!! Go Boy!!!

The sweaty visitor (and I mean sweaty – even put Herm-anus to shame) & strays that the hashers picked up along the way all slowly made their way back to the chariots following the smell of hash cash. Yes beer can lure any man (sorry and some women).

At this point Snake Charmer called everybody to order for the ceremony (Hence we were called a cult!)

Sinners:
Hare: Jan Klein
Shorts affair: Gutterguts & British single femaile hashette (I forget her name) had the honour of sharing the shorts!
Visiting feet/wheels: Marc, Niels (the cyclists that were abducted into our circle), Dave (I think) a runner who got caught up in our web, the British single female hashette & the sweaty one from Barain (my brain is finished!!!! – no names anywhere inside)
Who else?
Shit Shirt – Blabbermouth
????
Not important

To end:
Important quotes below (please memorise there will be a test on Sunday)
Diarise 16 December – Hash at cherry farm in Ceres – more details to follow
Thanks again to Yvonne for hosting the Christmas bash!!!

The Value of a Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams ... If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

HASH TRASH 18/11/07

2007-11-19T10:20:00.001-08:00

Next Sunday's run:
10 Largo Road
Newlands

Time: 4pm

Hare: Bakerman

On On afterward: bring & braai
______________________________________________

Wednesday's run:
Southern Right Hotel

Time: 18h30

On On afterward: Fundraiser for SASHA at Blow Hole Bar
So bring your money & support a good cause otherwise Snake Charmer's next run is going to kill you!!!!!!!!!!
________________________________________________________________

THE RUN THAT WAS…….ALPHEN HOTEL
The Motley crue roll upped right up till 17h00 when our hare of the day, Twin Peaks, called on on and gave a big clue that there was a drinks stop at check 11 therefore encouraging all runners to not short cut but actually do the whole run but of course there was a bit of confusion in the ranks when Herm-Anus misinterpretted check 11 as back at the chariots!!!!! (old age creeping there or is it men-o-pause?) but I digress……

Our wonderful hare (yes she is a friend and therefore I am biased), anyway suggested the walkers just go up the Green Belt & back, while sending the runners on a 1 1/2hr trek around Constantia. So Scotty *&&%, snot goblin, one of the scotty's & I wandered off following the runners up the Green Belt until Gutterguts came running past and whisked Snot Goblin onto his shoulders and ran off into the distance. This of course left Scotty *&(^*%&% & myself free to do what members of the knitting circle do best & natter for the next hour while we walked among the security guards and commented on the houses of the rich!

We saw the odd runner for a while, saw some markings (contrary to later comments that there was only markings every 200m - but as expained by Wonderbra when one is chatting and setting a run 200m can easily pass by without even realising the distance - a very real situation) & then we kind of lost the trail, got lost once or twice and eventually meandered back to the chariots by 18h07 only to discover that Blow Beans & Thunderthighs were also back (The old fart made me move the hash cash chariot so he could be closer to the Beer! - that old age thing again) and believe it or not but there was Herm-anus with the usual excuse that the trail was not marked properly & no actual beer stop! If you had gone to check 11 you would have found it!

Well we waited, drank, waited, drank and then along the pathway came Pussy galore 2, Hilda & Blabbermouth following their butts down the road!, the rest of the hashers smelt the beer and followed shortly thereafter…

Blow Beans did the honours of the circle…..

Sinners:
Hare : Twin Peaks
Co-Hare: Wonderbra
Duplicate Name: Pussy Galore 2 - Blowbeans noticed her tatto on her back and put forward suggestions to incorporate into her name (Actually I think he was perving to see how low it could go!)

Boblet: I forget why - I just remember the beer been thrown on his head
Scotty : for finally bringing back the ^&*&^*^ shirt
Idle Bone: made him drink his own concoction….
Blowbeans: new shoes - thinking New Balance shoes were Nike???????? But he drank from his shoe anyway (should have made him drink from thunder Thighs OLD shoes - sis Blowbeans…. Where are her new shoes)

Hermanus - For liking the down down beer

I think that was it….. If not I apolgise for not embarrasing you if I should have……

Well enough dribble, See you all at next week's run

Have a stupendous week

ON ON
Helgar

Alphen Hotel Contantia

HASH TRASH 11/11/07

2007-11-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

HASH TRASH 11th November 2007

Committee

Grand Master - Blabbermouth
Religious Advisor Runners- Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor Walkers - Derelick
Guardian Angel - RSWP
Hash Master - Koeksuster
On Sec - Helgar
Haberdash - Mother Inferior
Hashcash - Gutterguts
Hashhorn - Dutch Cap
Hash Mountain Goat - Grave Robber
Hash Web Wench - Easy Rider

Pictures of last Sunday run are now up on the webpage (Gallery / Hash Trash) www.cthash.blogspot.com

Show people this album by sending them this public link:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=15674&l=f0eaf&id=690626613
FORTHCOMING RUNS :

Wednesdays run is on Thursday at 18:30

CTWH3 run which will be taking place on Thursday (15/11/07) 18:30
Odd Fellows Hall, Church Street, Wynberg (opposite Maynardville)

Sunday's run
will take place at the parking area outside the Alphen Hotel, Alphen Drive, Constantia at 5:00pm

FORTHCOMING EVENTS:

Xmas Party 1 December at Snake Charmers pad

Following wednesday 21 Nov 18:30 run from the Southern Right hotel with the Sasha Fund Raiser after the run at the BlowHole bar.

Happy Birthday to Koeksuster 17/11/07

REMINDERS:
Weekend away dates

APRIL 11-13 HASH SUMMER WEEKEND AWAY
SEPTEMBER 12-14 WINTER WEEKEND AWAY

AND FINALLY FOR THE LAST WEEKS RUN:-

Hell - everyone must love SNAKE CHARMER! Either that or none of us awake enough to notice that it was raining cats and dogs up on Silvermine. Considering the weather - a turnout of approx 20 hashers was good going. We even had two visiting hashers joining us for the torture! We all stood shivering miserably under Gargoyle's fishy smelling tarpaulin waiting for the abuse to start. The hare in her usual inimitable way led us straight up the mountain in front us - through hill and dale and lots of scratchy and cold, stinging fynbos. Half way through the pain, we spotted some other idiot battling through the rain behind us. Jan Klein postulated that only a gormless British halfwit would be stupid enough also to be out in inclement weather and he was dead right! Hats off to Hermanus for deigning to join the posse.

The hare led the pack with the promise of alcholic delights from her backpack and two stops later had the pack feeling much better about life By the time the pack arrived back at the cars the weather had perked up somewhat and all that was left was the pack to rendezvous outside the entrance for the ceremony.

Sinners

Hmm - well here we have to speculate after ducking early!

Snake Charmer & hairy friend - Setting the misery

Keel Over - Keeling over yet again?

Hermanus - some one must have given you a drink?

on on

Twinpeaks

public link: for the rest of the pix
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=15674&l=f0eaf&id=690626613

Silvermine....
Visting feet Mutha Tucker Cambridge UK
Pussy Galore ex Singapore back in Cape Town

and two visitors from Namiba who stopped by during the circle and should be joining us next week.....

HASH TRASH 4/11/07

2007-11-04T11:48:00.000-08:00

HASH TRASH 4th November 2007

Pictures of the Halloween Party and Sundays run are now up on the webpage (Gallery / Hash Trash) www.cthash.blogspot.com

NEXT WEEKS RUNS :
Wednesdays run 7 November
CTWH WILL BE PARTICIPATING IN A joint run with the Harfield harriers - VENUE FORESTERS ARMS 52 NEWLANDS AVE NEWLANDS
For more information about the Harfield harriers check out their webpagehttp://www.haha.co.za

And Sunday's run 11th November 17h00 that is the usual time of 5pm from Silvermine north Mountain Bike car park (from northern borewors side come up Ou Kapseweg to the top and turn right into Silvermine). Proceed to the pay gate and pay R10 entrance fee – it's worth it to see the beautiful countryside still full of flowers because of the wonderful rain we've had (ENOUGH NOW), and frog's mating everywhere, enter and go straight up towards the dam but a short way before the dam you will see a speed bump and the Mountain Bike car park on the right hand side.

REMINDERS:
1. Weekend away dates
APRIL 11-13 HASH SUMMER WEEKEND AWAY

SEPTEMBER 12-14 WINTER WEEKEND AWAY

2. PLEASE NOTE - CTWH - Wednesday 14 November's run will be moved to Thursday 15 November 18:30 venue to be advised

3. CTWH - Wednesday the 21 November will be at the Southern Right in Glencairn....join in the SASHA Funraiser, no charge just bring some money for raffles and maybe you'll want to make a bid for an auction item:

Sunnydale Animal Sterilisation and Health Association
NPO No. 52-823 PH 021 785 4748 PBO No. 930023737
A fun night out at the Southern Right Hotel's Blowhole Bar with live music by Kevin du Preez .
There will be an auction & raffles with fantastic prizes.
Entry is free!
A fun night out for the family.
OVERPOPULATION IS THE CAUSE
NEGLECT AND ABUSE ARE THE SYMPTOMS
STERILISATION & EDUCATION ARE THE HUMANE SOLUTIONS
STERILISE – SAVE LIVES
SASHA are also appealing for Roof and Floor paint for their new X-Ray room.
For more info about SASHA please view their website http://www.sasha.za.org/

4. CTH3 - 16 DECEMBER the run will take place in Ceres (2 hours drive from Cape Town) at the Klondyke Cherry Farm. Run, cherry picking and picnic.....full day outing.
Any visitors that need a lift please email hash@crss.co.za.

5. Photos of Debbie Does Dallas's wee sprog (Neil Graham) are now up on the webpage under hash Spirit.....Debbie is now living in New Zealand

6. Next Hash event .....1 December HASH XMAS PARTY - details to be advised.....

last but not least pictures from the Springboks in Cape Town are on the webpage under Gallery...I am waiting for a few more from Vicky who was at the stadium with hash horrors David and Mark

PHEW after all those announcements do we need a hash run report…?

Of course we do, as the run was held on a glorious English summer's afternoon, grey cloud and cold rain. A perfect day for wine-tasting; a small group of sorry looking hashers. And it was a tortuous route to get there meandering along the green belt then along some avenues with huge f** of* houses and barking dogs aplenty. The hash hounds ran along, wondering what size settees these mutts had to sleep on, much more comfort than at home…

Eventually Groot Constantia was reached and the motley crew entered the grand hall. I'm surprised they allowed the wet, sweaty bunch of miscreants in, amazing what they'll put up with to get money out of you.

I missed out on the wine-tasting as I had 4 hash hounds that wanted to drag me back to the car, so I jumped out of the rain for a quick power nap while the others guzzled wine.

Wrong-doers:
Easy Rider (hare) and Blabbermouth (co-hare).
Easy Rider – for forgetting who sinned last week and therefore not writing a complete run report: PAY ATTENTION NEXT TIME!

All the walkers - Easy Rider, Flo and Gandhi – as there was no walking RA so who knows what they got up to.

All the runners – Hermanus, Blabbermouth, Koeksuster, Gutterguts, Hilda, John - at this stage I caught a bit of memory loss from Easy R and forgot why I was punishing the runners, but later I remembered it was because they ALL skirted a big pool that they were supposed to run through, although gutterguts hotly denied this but when I asked for the beer back he couldn't produce it.

Hermanus – for coming LAST.

Hilda – was honorably given a hash handle for her sterling performance at the Halloween Hash bash, she will now be known as keel over

Still waiting for the shit shirt, there will be some serious punishment for its absence, no amnesty

ON ON
Snake Charmer

Keel Over

Hermanus and John

Hermanus, John, Blabbermouth, Gandhi, Keel over

Easy Rider - do you think its raining

Easy Rider

Wine tasting Groot Constantia

koeksuster, gandhi, flo
Keel Over, Hermanus, John, Blabbermouth

The circle

"Keel over" getting christened with her new hash handle....Keel over as in the tumbling drinking game which she so fastidiously played at the Halloween Party

Hashers that braved the rain...Hows this Cape Town Weather, 28C on Friday and a storm on Sunday go figure

Gutterguts, Blabbermouth, Hermanus, John
Gandhi, Easy Rider, Koeksuster
Flo, Snake Charmer

High Constantia Carpark....Drink stop - Wine tasting at Groot Constantia

HASH TRASH 29/10/07

2007-10-28T15:50:00.000-07:00

WEDNESDAY 31 OCTOBER 18:30 HAPPY HALLOWEEN - .............Vadies Sports Bar Cnr Old Kendal and Main Rd Diep River.

**WEDNESDAY 7 NOVEMBER 18:30 FROM FORESTERS ARMS 52 NEWLANDS AVE NEWLANDS….JOINT RUN WITH THE HARFIELD HARRIERS.

Saturday 3/11/07 19:30 Queen Victoria Road Claremont HALLOWEEN FANCY DRESS PARTY….TICKETS R10.00 A PERSON (KIDS FREE)

SUNDAYS RUN 4/11/07 16:00 16:00 16:00 16:00
Constantia - High Constantia Parking Area cnr of Groot Constantia and Constantia Main roadWINE TASTING AT GROOT CONSTANTIA .....R22 for a glass and five wines to taste - if you only taste one wine its free and no glass........

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent to blow up King and Parliament.
Three-score barrels of powder below to prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd with a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

THE RUN THAT WAS : 1404

Ok well I guess Springbok fever is slowly dying down and one would think we can get back our lives. Mmm will life every be the same. Here is the new Bok song (you need sound to listen to this and appologies to English speakers this is in Afrikaans however I think all will enjoy) http://www.dem.altpro.net/bandsite/ .

Ok well now that I have your attention …. The run that was!
As a member of the walkers “knitting circle” we headed off in the general direction of Cavendish Square…. with three Hash Hounds. We managed a nice round trip down towards Newlands main road over to SA Breweries and passed the Newlands Cricket and Rugby Stadiums up through Avalon Springs and back up to Forries. It was hot going in high humidity and very thirsty work.

Derelick, thunderthighs, mother inferior...with hash hounds

Back at Forries we waited for the runners, with more hash hounds and a couple of Hash Horrors.
At this point I have to rely on my trusty source Blabbermouth. All I got out of him was that there were hills and everyone had a turn in pushing the hash horror who’s the boss up and down these hills….mmm so dad what did you do?

The circle was formed and sinners chastised by our Two RA’s

Sinners
Hare Koeksuster
Blabbermouth for getting everyone else to push Who’s the boss in her pram
Bakerman for joining hash after the run with his two pooches when it was suppose to be his run to set
Dutch Cap for a belated birthday

the circle

And many more the brain cells just fail me ….that’s what happens when you have to keep one eye on a Hash Hound and the other on a Hash Horror

Derelicked handed over a sum of money to Gutterguts and Helgar to be utilized for beer and a quick pomp….This was for allowing hash to trash their pad while watching the rugby finale

bakerman (bakersoven if you were missing your hubby he was with us LOL)

the scrum!!!!!!!

Jan Klein then took the circle to present the projectionist (Rugby cup finale) Blabbermouth with a prize of Chocolates (knowing how our Grand Master has a sweet tooth)
The hashers representing SA, UK and Holland bent over to form a scrum against Blabbermouth the chocolates where inserted into the scrum and the ruck was stated….Thunderthighs jumped in and grabbed the chocolates from the ruck heading off at Habana pace…..Snake charmer was heard shouting ….mind were you put your fingers as she was playing hooker.

HEY! RSWP we are still waiting for the SHIT shirt…doll
Our senior citizen has request that you put some ice down the shorts of Bone Idle and get back to hashing..LOL

Those who are going to see the Springboks tomorrow enjoy ….lucky sods

PLEASE NOTE THE FOLLOWING DATES
APRIL 11-13 HASH SUMMER WEEKEND AWAY

SEPTEMBER 12-14 HASH WINTER WEEKEND AWAY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF OUR MEMBERS tadpole (BENJAMIN) CURRENTLY IN KUWAIT - WHO TURNED 3 ON THE 27TH….PHOTOS ARE ON THE WEBPAGE UNDER HASH SPIRIT…News.

ALSO BON VOYAGE TO fmn AND mother superior WHO LEFT FOR NEW ZEALAND ON 22/10/07 HOPE YOU GET TO RUN WITH A HASH IN NEW ZEALAND AND SHOW THEM HOW ITS DONE! ON ON

Whiskey festival on at the CTICC…we have a group going on Friday (2/11) if anyone is intersted please email hash@crss.co.za ENTRY TICKET TO THE MAIN TASTING HALL R150.00 per person http://www.whiskylivefestival.co.za/

Photos of this run are now up on the Webpage
http://www.cthash.blogspot.com/

ON ON EASY RIDER

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.
It's OK when the person you're with fantasizes you're someone else, because you are.
Forty years from now you'll still enjoy candy.
If you don't like what you get you can always go next door.
It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
Less guilt the morning after.
#1: YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!!!

Hareline
Run # date hare scribe
1405 28 OCT Koeksuster EASY RIDER

1406 04 NOV EASY RIDER BULLWANKER.

1407 11 NOV BULLWANKER TWINPEAKS.

HASH TRASH 21/10/07

2007-10-21T23:30:00.001-07:00

Yo Blabbermouth you have just nominated yourself as co-hare mate LOL, Easy Rider

HASH TRASH : 21 October 2007 Run number 1404

Committee
Grand Master - Blabbermouth
Religious Advisor Runners- Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor Walkers - Derelick
Guardian Angel - RSWP
Hash Master - Koeksuster
On Sec - Helgar
Haberdash - Mother Inferior
Hashcash - Gutterguts
Hashhorn - dutch cap
Hash Mountain Goat - Grave Robber
Hash Web Wench - Easy Rider

Next Sundays run : Newlands 17:00 details to follow ...Foresters Arms 52 Newlands ave Newlands

Next Wednesdays Run : Dom Pedro Roodebloem Road Woodstock 18:30

3 November Hash Halloween Fancy Dress Party 19:30 107a Queen Victoria Road Claremont - Tickets R10.00 pp….on sale on Wednesday and Sunday or email hash@crss.co.za

Vive la Bokke! C’est magnifique!

What can I say Saturday night was a blast. My condolences to the English, Ha Ha J

Ooooh and pity, Snake Charmer, Hamilton (UK) didn’t make it in the F1 either

After much recuperating on Sunday morning those without too much of a hangover appeared for what must have felt like a die hard run.

We all gathered at Sunvalley mall only to be led back up Ou Kaapse Weg, near to Peers Cave, for the start of the run. Koeksuster was very kind to us and led us early on the trail, which headed downhill and then onto a dirt road leading us towards Clovelly golf club. Down we went, and then down some more, and all the while we are thinking, what goes down must go up, but down we went, passed the golf club until we finally reached the beach, and the end of the run.

Koeksuster had organized a taxi to get us back, the only problem was the lack of a booming sound system so we had to make do by listening to Her-Anus’s drone on once again about his close encounter with chocolate cake.

The walker’s “Knitting Circle” well they disappeared up along Ou Kaapse Weg, prams, dogs and all. We only met up with them again at the circle.

It was nice to meet our visiting feet that hailed from the USA, welcome to CTHHH and we hope to see much more of you during your stay.

Those who didn’t get enough exercise during the run got it running after one of our youngest members “Who’s the boss” during the circle!

Sinners

Hare- koeksuster.

Her-Anus – Telling us his story about the chocolate cake.

Visiting feet, Rolando from Texas, Alana from Connecticut

Returning feet John (Gargoyls’s brother) and Hilda

Heranus and Boblet- England supporters, need we say more?

Snake Charmer – not using hash handles

Blowbeans – probably for breathing. He said the down-down beer tasted sh1t. Well it’s not for your pleasure.

http://www.cthash.blogspot.com/

Photos of this run are up on the blog under Hash Trash…

Check out Hash Spirit on the blog for some videos from YOU TUBE on the RWC

A Link to Photos from the weekend away *(facebook album)

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=16762&l=9d7a9&id=690626613

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=16764&l=ccf2b&id=690626613

NB You do not need an account on Facebook to view the about links but some businesses may block your access!

HaReLinE:-
1405 28 OCT BAKERMAN EASY RIDER
1406 4 NOV EASY RIDER BULLWANKER.
1407 11 NOV BULLWANKER TWINPEAKS.

OMG Easy you are going to have to get out from behind that pc/BLOG and set a run….

ON ON

Blabbermouth

African Sunset

Visting feet Rolando and Alana...returning feet John and Hilda getting a down down

the circle

Alana leading the pack.........................

RA Snake Charmer and Hash Hound, Hilda next to her

Alana, John, Hilda at the re group.........

Boblet in the lead
Hare Koeksuster leading the way down down down....

the Pack heading off to Peers cave....

Peers Cave 21/10/07

HASH TRASH 14/10/07

2007-10-15T03:58:00.000-07:00

What can we say, the new committee has only been in action for 1 week and we already organised, a phenomenal run (refer below) & the most amazing social where we organised that the Springboks would win their semi final match! – Good heavens what more could you want??

Now onto the business at hand:

Next weeks run: Noordhoek Pick ‘n Pay parking lot

17h00

Hare – koeksister

Wednesday run : Pinelands Club Lonsdale road Pinelands Bring and Braai at the club afterwards

The run that was the SEMI FINAL SPECTACULAR!

When the illustrious hare, Gutterguts, announced at the beginning of the run that he was “no more Mr Nice Guy” nobody realised how serious he actually was. The motley crue set off thinking that a leisurely stroll around Lakeside before relaxing with a beer & braai and watching the rugby BUT NO he was being deadly serious!

Our new RA, Snake Charmer, decided that despite seeing that huge mountain in front of her that it was her moral duty to ensure that she got to the beer stop at the top, and then the female had to wait while the male species of supposed runners, including Mr Dick, Herm – anus, Uncle Shrek (aka Jan Klein) & Boblet decided to puff & pant their way to the Koppie on the mountain.

The walkers in the meantime dutifully lead by Bird brain were having a brisk walk up Boys Drive. It is said that certain “runners” whom we will not name (Wonderbra & Twinpeaks) decided that it was safer for their health to follow the walkers than the runners (of course the sinners that they are were punished for this at the ceremony). So along with Suck face and baby Jake (who is not yet hash named but I have it on good authority from his mother that everytime he bends over wind escapes so perhaps there is usable material in that information) Blowbeans & Derelict they meandered over Boys Drive and then back down through the back roads of Lakeside back to the chariots.

Hash is becoming very divided as there was another group of walkers, Mother inferior, Blondwynleek, Helgar, Snot nose goblin & the hash hound Chelsie who did their own little stroll around Surbubia. BUT there is more…. not only were their 3 groups out there but we now have a additional group: THE SITTERS - TNT & Scotty were firstly late and then had the lame excuse of being held captive and made to drink at their previous engagement of all the gourmeting hashing excuses… but there were other gourmet hashers who drifted in during the course of the evening including “F me now”; Bypass; Croc & Mother Superior & the visitors including cousin Wayne & Vicky.

So all in all a good turnout. The hashers returned to the hash house & proceeded to snack on cheese & biscuits, chip & dip & start drinking from the fully stocked hash fridge. We also toasted the arrival of Debbie Does Dallas’s new arrival (yes Graham has a nephew! – and what a proud uncle he is) in New Zealand with a tasty pink champagne from Woolies (you see hash is getting classy).

Then the classiness all but evaporated as the new RA’s took to the floor with the ceremony:

Sinners:

Hare – gutterguts (watered down beer out of a watering can no less)

Wonderbra & Twinpeaks as explained above

Suckface – for aiding and abetting the above

Boblet – for not actually being a runner (according the RA – I think she was still upset about having to wait for her beer at the beer stop)

TNT & Scotty – for being the sitters

I forget who else it was such a mess of liquid by that stage

Herm-anus then proceeded to give the &(&( shirt (sorry some people do not get the newsletter due to firewalls blocking our language!) to Scotty *&(&(&(__ for not coming to hash ages ago to eat his chocolates that he had brought for her. So he proceeded to feed her a Penguin. In response Scotty fed him very unceremoniously a piece of my Woolies chocolate mouse cake (I thought that this was supposed to be a punishment???) because Herm-Anus thoroughly enjoyed it so much so he invaded my fridge and ate the last piece & left the empty box in the fridge!!!!!

By then the coals were almost ready and people cleaned up had a few more drinks and settled down to a traditional South African experience. A Sunday braai, followed by a spectacular rugby match on the hash BIG SCREEN (I.e my wall & Underdog’s projector).

Thank you to everbody who made salads etc

NOW ONTO THE EXCITING NEWS:

BY POPULAR DEMAND, WE WILL BE WATCHING THE RUGBY FINAL ON THE HASH BIG SCREEN AT 3 DRIVER STREET ON SATURDAY. BRING & BRAAI FIRST. YOU MAY INVITE YOUR DECENT FRIENDS & FAMILY TO JOIN US….

SO SEE YOU THERE FROM 18H00 (HASH CASH WILL BE IN THE FRIDGE & BRING A SALAD FOR THE COMMUNAL TABLE)

ON ON

HELGAR

HASH TRASH 5-7OCT WEEKEND AWAY CERES

2007-10-09T07:09:00.001-07:00

The Winter Weekend Away Cape Town Hash (5-7 October 2007)
Run Number - ????
Committee - All to drunk to remember
I have been nagged into scribing this HASH TRASH possibly because so few attended and they need to know that they missed a Bloody Good event.
Congratulations to who ever thought up and arranged the tour and tough SHIT to those who missed out.
Off we went to Ceres for a Friday night of Shooters, Drie Hoek Kerrie Koek and stand up comedy by a very entertaining KOEKSISTER who even wanted to show us her tattoo of a mouse but then discovered that her pussy must have eaten it.
Saturday morning started off with bright sun shine and very few hangovers and then a simple straight forward trip to the Matroosberg Nature Reserve. It was much like Check 1 with all going in different directions and having to phone yours truly followed by Gutterguts for directions to Check 2.
Finally they all arrived at the Farm somewhere near Niksenboggeralsfontein dressed for a cool summers day. Fortunately the farmers wife took pity on Gutterguts' offspring and handed out Red Cross Blankets. It was explained to the kids that as they only arrived on this planet after the Oldies they had no rights to the blankets.
Then it was back to the old army days and get your arse into the back of the well ventilated Bedford. Gutterguts took full advantage of the situation and dropped a real pearler, which even the great outdoors and the howling wind passing through the Bedford truck, could not disperse.
Many were the pessimists, convinced that the old truck could not climb the track ahead even if they levelled it out to say 50 degrees incline. But a Bedford driven by a Boer se Vrou, drie maande na die geboorte van haar tweede kind en saam met haar eerste seun in die kajuit, is a taai ding. Maybe it was the helping jet propulsion from Gutterguts not to mention the prayers of Mother Inferior but eventually after much grinding, bumping and painful backsides all arrived at the top of the mountain albeit Chucking Filly.
Some of us have strange religions, Her_anus in particular, he took along a new, non drinking Lady friend and two dozen eggs. all the way up the mountain and all the way down again, mind you he never touched any of them. For reasons unbeknown she got christened YUM YUM, pronounced with a kind of lisp, like when you are licking the tart. Go on try it.
After a leisurely lunch and a non enthusiastic look over the side of the cliff for the missing American who came to a conclusion somewhere at the bottom of the gorge, it was back on the Bedford for a second attempt at the scary track and grind and bump our way back to the farm house. The only sensible creature was the dog the ran behind the truck all the way up and all the way down. He looked at as all and declared that humans are stucking fupid things They kak off going up, they give him their lunch and then go back down still complaining of the bumpy ride.
At this point most Hashers could feel a sleep coming on, I was very tiring climbing into and out of the Bedford. Others headed for the Ceres Rukby Klub to watch the TV in the fruit chilling room as if they were not cold enough from the mountain.
Saturday night Gutterguts exelled himself with his rendition of Poetjie Kos, two choices nogal and a request for the receipe. The latter was the interesting part he could only remember the poor animals that he had stewed and then bumbled on about salt pepper, chutney and some of this and some of that, what a lot of Kak but Yum Yum seemed to believe him. What he failed to tell Yum Yum was that he did not wash the pots from that last time that he had used them, maybe he had also forgotten when that was. Then we all drank and drank, Koeksister downed a Yard of Ale cause she was awarded Spirit of Hash and took it literally and figuratively, and then went to bed full of spirit. There were other awards but I can only remember Don for the Walker of the year. Then we waited to watch the rugby which Jan Klein said would be on TV at 10pm. Ja well we are still waiting.
Sunday morning ALL sauntered off on the official Hash run/walk before brunch cooked in last nights dirty pots Man what Flavour and it would have been better if Gandi had not insisted that Flo gets the old bits of past food out of the corner of the pot.
Her_anus entertained the crowd with his egg throwing competition and collected the Grande prize from his God Daughter. She threw and busted an egg on him GOOD GIRL KEEP IT UP.
One final belch and a few farts and we all went home.
Sinners
Mother Inferior
Easy Rider
And a few others

The new committee
Grand Master - Blabbermouth
Religious Advisor Runners- Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor Walkers - Derelick (new)
Guardian Angel - RSWP
Hash Master - Koeksuster
On Sec - Helgar
Haberdash - Mother Inferior
Hashcash - Gutterguts
Hashhorn - dutch cap
Hash Mountain Goat - Grave Robber (new)
Hash Web Wench - Easy Rider (new)

Mobile Alerts have been taken over by Easy Rider

PRIZE WINNERS
Run of the year... Steenberg - Jan Klein
Best first run... Newlands forrest - Grave robber
Spirit of hash...Koeksuster
Best Scribe...Bone Idle
Walker of the year...Gandhi
Hashette...Snake Charmer
Special awards...Mr Dick

HASH TRASH 30/9/07

2007-09-30T11:01:00.001-07:00

Hash Trash from Cape Town Hash

Committee members: 2006/7
Gutterguts, Hermanus, Blodwynleek, Easy Rider, Bone Idle, Blabbermouth & Koeksuster.

Wednesday's Run Da Vinci's Pizza Studio, 2nd Avenue, Harfield village

Next Sunday's Run No: 1402 Hare: Committee run
Venue: Ceres - Weekend away
Time: 09h00
A delicious skottelbraai breakfast afterwards

Last Sundays Run No. 1401 30 September 2007 Hare: Her_anus Venue: Constantia Nek

Sadly last week when only 6 runners and one walker arrived for the run in Ridgewood; none of us realized that it was run 1400. It was celebrated this past Sunday with the release of the absolutely gorgeous new Hash T-shirt that celebrated our Sardine Run party. The cost is R65 - so get in there and get your t-shirt ASAP.

Sunday was a really windy day; so it was a surprise to find Constantia Nek a bit more sheltered than expected. The hare pulled who is a stunning cunt pulled a cunning stunt and sent me on 2 long falsies at the start. The first was downhill towards Hout Bay and then into the Orange Kloof hiking trail path. Eventually the trail went the usual way up the mountain.

I was quite chuffed at not being caught on the up the mountain falsie like gravedigger as I was sure that it would be the later home run (I was right). Just to be brought back to earth at the next check's falsie and 'creatively' marked split. Pussy galore was sadly dragged with me on this falsie, but did not complain too much. We crawled up the slope to catch up with the rest at the re-group for some lovely beer. Blabbermouth gave Her_anus an impromptu down-down for this cunning stunt.

From there Boblet was for once right and immediately took the correct trail. Pussy Galore and I followed suit. To get to check 7 we all had to bundu bash a bit and the hare was called a stunning cunt for this several times.

From check 8 the trail did a blind one way route to a beautiful view point, but the stunning cunt again pulled a cunning stunt and did not join us on this and dashed ahead back towards the chariots.

It was a great run and fun was had by all.

Sinners.
Stunning cunt Her_anus as hare, short cutter and other cunning stunts
Pussy galore as retuning foot and welcome back
2 new walking feet - forgot names
I forgot the rest too - it could not have been important

1402 7 OCT Committee BAKERMAN
1403 14 OCT BAKERMAN KOEKSUSTER
1404 21 OCT KOEKSUSTER DERELICT
1405 28 OCT DERELICT EASY RIDER
1406 4 NOV EASY RIDER BULLWANKER.
1407 11 NOV BULLWANKER TWINPEAKS

ON-ON
Koeksuster

Virgin hashers Pamela and Joyce

circle

below - spot the hashers up the mountain

Hermanus, Gandhi and Blabbermouth
below - Blabbermouth with whos the boss in the pram

Racing Snake with hash hounds, Blodwyn leek and Gandhi

CONSTANTIA NEK

HASH TRASH -23 /9/ 07

2007-09-23T14:04:00.001-07:00

Announcements:
Remember to RSVP (and pay) to Easy Rider(Leanne) about weekend away Leanne@crss.co.za

Sunday, the run that was:
SIX, only SIX brave hashers braved crossing the "Wors" curtain to
attempt Blabbermouths tour of Old de Grendal, complete with majestic
view of Caltex oil refinery!
What a great run. First a magical tour of the upmarket suburb of
Richwood, followed by an interesting trail thru Old de Grendal farm
where cattle used to graze, now the fields given up to rampant urban
sprawl. Gutterguts did sterling work in leading the pack around the
fields and through the new microscopic properties now dotting this once
proud old farm. Pussy Galore put in an appearance and promised never to
leave hash again and will mate with Boblet, (she having also bought a
Mini). Koeksuster complained that the run was not interesting enough,
BOLLOCKS, I Heranus helped set this run, Virgin territory. I am
great, Blabbermouth is great so your out voted!
The trail proceeded up the slopes of the farm, complete with stunning
view of the berg, power lines and Caltex then down to Richwood and
homerun.
All SIX who did this run were sinners of the highest order, Boblet,
Blabbermouth, Gutterguts, Heranus, Koeksuster, and Pussygalore. Also
thanks to Helgar and the kids for moral support.
To the rest of you Mo*****s who did not pitch for this run well, may
the fleas of a thousand camels infest your private parts, may your beer
always be warm, and may your PC crash when you do your next hash
trash!!!!!!!
ON ON
HERANUS.
WEDNESDAY RUN 26 SEP 18h30 at Noordhoek 'old' Pick 'n Pay parking lot. If you all feel like it and the weather is okay, we can have a bring and braai afterwards. The wood is waiting to be lit.

NEXT SUNDAY RUN: 5 PM: CONSTANTIA NEK PARKING AREA opp Constantia Nek
restaurant.
PS, try and get out of bed, stop watching sport on the TV and SUPPORT
your local hash!!!!!

1400 23 SEPT BLABBERMOUTH Hermanus
1401 30 SEPT Hermanus GARGOYLE
1402 7 OCT GARGOYLE BAKERMAN
1403 14 OCT BAKERMAN KOEKSUSTER
1404 21 OCT KOEKSUSTER DERELICT
1405 28 OCT DERELICT EASY RIDER
1406 4 NOV EASY RIDER BULLWANKER.
1407 11 NOV BULLWANKER TWINPEAKS.

RICHWOOD

GUTTERGUTS & BOBLET

PUSSY GALORE & HELGAR

HELGAR, KERRIEBUM, KOEKSUSTER, HERMANUS,GUTTERGUTS,BOBLET

Richwood Durbanville Road 23 September 2007

HASH TRASH 16/9/07

2007-09-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

CTHHH HASH TRASH…WWW.CTHASH.BLOGSPOT.COM

NEXT RUN 23/9/07 DURBANVILLE ROAD RICHWOOD AT THE TOTAL GARAGE

TIME: 1700, 5PM

WEDNESDAYS RUN 19/9/07 IN KOMMETJIE (STILL WAITING DIRECTIONS CHECK WEB OR MOBILE ALERT)

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

The hash run set off at its normal exuberant pace of a bunch of overly excitable kids….all scurrying around in different directions until the trail was picked up.

2) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

We had a large knitting circle for this run accompanied by Hash Horrors and Hash Hounds. Perhaps that was because most were feeling the after effects of the Rugby on Friday and the 20T Cricket on Saturday … way to much celebrating.

Viva la Bokke! C’est Magnifique

And what can we say poor old England LOL

Special thanks to Twin peaks for assisting with marking the trail in the undergrowth…I do hope you are feeling better

Not feeling to up to the run myself I chose to push Who’s the Boss in her chariot with the Knitting circle…and took in the view of the duck pond and scaled a hillock or two nothing to strenuous for these shaky legs. It was restful on the eyes after all they were becoming quite square from watching the sport on the BOX

3) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

All those who actually ran the run came stumbling in shortly after we returned to check one…the circle was formed and the sinners chastised

4) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

Ok at this point I kind of lost the plot and cant really remember who the transgressing bastards were

I think….Wonder Bra for Smiling

Naughty bi Nature…for bringing a virgin hasher

Virgin Hasher for being a virgin

Boblet and Gargoyl for being Hare and Co

And a few others who were being RA try outs

Oh and me for some or other reason…oh well FREE beer

4) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Ok well this goes without saying we managed to give all our hashers their daily (streroid) junk food quota by selling a Boerrie roll or two after the run

But I fear the effect would not be felt after washing it down with a beer or two…or three or…THUD.

Spring Equinox Party

Join us for a Dinner and Disco

Date 21 September 2007

Venue:- 107a Queen Victoria Road Claremont

Menu : Roast with veggies and Chocolate fountain for Desert

Dance floor for you to boogie the night away

hash cash will be available

Price : R10.00 PP

hashers and friends welcome

please RSVP before Thursday 20 September.

After Thusrday the price will then be R25.00 PP

hash@crss.co.za

Lost property from Friday

we have one red bag pacific express on it with a bottle of banana cream

and one blue plastic paper plate holder

Please give Easy Rider a shout to claim she is on hash@crss.co.za

ON ON

BLABBERMOUTH

HASH KNITTING CIRCLE - HASH HOUNDS AND HORRORS

CIRCLE - WONDERBRA GETTING A DOWN DOWN

BLABBERMOUTH COOKING THE BORIE ROLLS

NAUGHTY BI NATURE AND VIRGIN FOOT GETTING A DOWN DOWN

BOBLET AND GARGOYL HARE AND CO HARE

HASH 16/9/07 WYNBERG PARK

HASH TRASH 9/9/07

2007-09-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

OK IT LOOKS AS IF THE SCRIBE HAS FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT US AGAIN ......OK our estimed Scribe has advised that he had a problem between the chair and Computer Keyboard hence the Hash Trash is late LOL but it will still arrive ...oooh and here it is 18/9/07

C.T.H.H.

The Committee Who Cares.

Wednesday’s. Run. The Blue Chip restaurant Wetton Rd Wetton.

Next Sundays Run. The Fountain Wynberg Park Travarto Link Wynberg.

Run No. Hare. Rancid What ever.

Location. Tokai Forest Orphen Rd.

At the a start a shock awaited, the dragon and the professional moaner had pitched, the hypochondriac was suffering from the longest case of foot and mouth in medical history. Gutterguts was either picking a fight with the car guard or he though the guard was photogenic as he was chasing the guard with camera in hand.

After Waiting for Her-anus to find the On On and a few minutes delay while the various mutts were brought under control, the on on was called.

Once it was determined that there were no beer stops my interest in the run instructions ceased.

A run into the forest was obvious, but which direction? After running into the wrong part of the forest it became obvious that with a strategic short cut I could join the run, and providing that the bone head of the Right Arshole did not spot my cunning stunt all would be well The R.A. who surprise surprise happened to be the co-hare was so busy bullshiting the sick and lame at the back that the only sign of him was the incessant noise that he makes which can be heard at a considerable distance.

The run was quite easy until we reached a bog at the back of the forest, was the hare serious did she think that any body was going to run through a slick of dog and horse turds with a dry path at the side ? Just as I was circumventing the slick, the R.A. staggered around the bend I did not see him but the constant whine was unmistakable “Your supposed to run through the shit, there’s no shit on your shoes, you wimp!” this coming from a ‘girl’ that climbed half way up the mountain last week to avoid getting his shoes wet in a clear mountain steam that 10 minutes later some of the hashers was having a quick drink.

The trail wandered through the forest with more feeble attempts to get shoes wet, a long back check led to a some bad language and the odd curse but the beer wagon was calling so luckily the trail was leading to the chariots. On the way back to the chariots I spotted two black Scottish mutts heading in the opposite direction, right into the path of the other two Scottish mutts, confusion was in the offing. In the meantime gutterguts was playing shrek with Zuma

Back to the chariots 1

down’sinner of the week

Hare Rancid .

Bobet New shoes and not getting new shoes shitty.

Twin peaks

And others

On On

BLABBERMOUTH AND WHOS THE BOSS

BLABBERMOUTH CARRING HASH HORROR WHOS THE BOSS ACROSS THE RIVER, RSWP AND HASH HOUND

HASHERS IN THE FORGROUND - TABLECLOTH COMING OVER THE MOUNTAIN

BLABBERMOUTH, RSWP, HERMANUS, HASH HORROR WHOS THE BOSS, GANDHI AND DUTCH CAP

FLO, WONDERBRA, TWIN PEAKS WITH HASH HORROR JAKE AND LOTS OF SHIGGY

OUR VIRGIN HARE - RSWP

WALKERS,HASH HORRORS AND HASH HOUNDS

9 SEPTEMBER 2007 TOKAI FOREST

HASH TRASH - 2/9/07

2007-09-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

Comments: I am not the #$@* racing snake, down down to the Idle Bone that knows nothing - SNAKE CHARMER

Hash Trash 5 September 2007

The committee: Absolutely excellent bunch Rah, rah, Yaah!!!!!

Next Wednesday's Run: 6:30pm Ashanti Lodge 11 Hof Street Cape Town (Tonight)

Next Sunday's Run : Run No: 1398 Tokai Forest now Orpen Rd thanks to a slightly incorrect sms. 17H00. Apologies if the newspaper says somewhere else. No it's not Blowbeans's run this time but starts in the same place now thanks Bob. Heranus if you have any complaints speak to you fellow countrymen. Hare Rancid Scottie Weasel Piss (Lovely!!)

The run that was: Sunday 2 September Run No 1397 Hare: Racing Snake
We all gathered on the slopes of Table Mountain adjacent to Rhodes Memorial at an altitude of approximately half way up, although some of the hikers would probably contest this estimate.
This was of great concern to TNT as this meant this run could go up and then down or down and then up or along and down and then back and up or .. We had an age to contemplate this as we awaited the arrival of Grave Robber who had taken 3 birds up the mountain earlier that morning. He must have worn them out as he arrives at the chariot park at 16h45 with no sign of them on his heels. Jagsmeisie I can understand, but the other 2 ..
Racing Snake made some excuse about not doing a puff adder, which Grave Robber had done or something, jeez talk about desperation. She then sent us off up the mountain and along in the direction of Newlands. Bone Idle, being a connoisseur of nature and fine views languished at the back truly appreciating his surroundings unlike many other hashers who sped along not noticing anything except the booze travelling along ahead of them. They chased Heranus and Racing Snake all the way to Check 6 and the first Regroup / booze stop.
In there haste they forgot to mark through the checks and splits so causing serious navigational issues for Bone Idle.
Fortunately at the first such perplexing situation a check at a river crossing Twin Peaks and Wonderbra's voices rang out through the forest indicating the correct route.
TNT being the noble gentleman that he is waited for Boblet to ensure he had the correct route, this would cost him dearly later and much later he would again be punished for this chivalrous action.
TNT and Rancid Scottie.. and Boblet arrive at the top of this river bank to encounter another split, this time no help was in attendance and they had to brave it on their own.
At this point that bad bastard Murphy decided to intervene and apply Sod's Law to the situation which clearly states " If you have to select one of 2 options the first one you select will be the wrong one."
In a normal situation this error would not have had as dire a consequence but a number of factors conspired to make this a very grave error indeed.
The 3 brave hashers selected the split running up the mountain in true hash nature applying the logic its better to run back down, if it's a falsie than discover that you have suckered yourself downhill and have put yourself way, way back with a mountain to climb to return to the split.
The 3 tail end Charlies who were already out of touch with the pack were now way behind.
This fact really began to worry Bone Idle as they came upon check 5, realising the next check, check 6, was the first regroup and booze stop. Allowing other hash reprobates a head start in consuming the elixir of the Hash Gods was not in Bone Idles estimation a very clever move. He became increasingly concerned and distressed as he realised they had no idea which way the trail went from check 5, there were a minimum of 4 options and if Sod's Law prevailed again and any of the FRB's or MRB's (Front Running Bastards and Middle Running Bastards for the uninitiated) had anything like the thirst TNT had on board the Elixir of the Hash Gods would have been completely consumed by now.
Being aware of the lack of generosity in the souls of the mob ahead TNT began to accept his chances of obtaining any Elixir of the Hash Gods had all but evaporated before him.
After 2 more failed attempts to find the trail, we set off on our third attempt from check 5 and encountered Twin Peaks and Wonderbra returning, they had turned back after check 6 which they informed TNT was still a fair way off and that the booze carriers were already to leave check 6 when they had arrived and they had informed Racing Snake that TNT had probably turned back (WHAT!!!!). He was very crest fallen at this news as even if there were a few drops left they would have been transported further up the mountain by the time he arrived.
So alas he sadly turned his back on the mountain and set off on the long weary trudge for home along with Twin Peaks, Wonderbra, Rancid Scottie .. and Boblet.
His sadness and disappointment weighed so heavily on his shoulders that he couldn't even keep up with his fellow hashers.
The forlorn TNT arrived back at the chariot park and waited for the FRB's to arrive.

First to appear was Grave Robber whose three wenches had returned from their walk up the mountain seemingly in good spirits.
Next was racing Snake and the little 4 legged one that could apparently the rest of the herd were finished after helping to set the ordeal that morning and eat up a few markings.
Next was Tick Tock and after that Heranus with Blabbermouth very close on his heels, Heranus are those running shoes out of guarantee yet maybe you could trade them in on a faster pair.

The ceremony began in Earnest (poor lad that must have hurt)
Sinners:
Hare: Racing Snake (IE SNAKE CHARMER lol)
3 Mountain Wenches: Koeksuster, Dutch Cap and Jagsmeisie
Grave Robber for holding up the start of the run
Heranus for not waiting for TNT at the booze stop
Heranus for last week
Heranus for what he might do next week
Rancid Scottie Weasel Piss for not having a hash shirt
TNT unjustly punished for not getting to the regroup
Shit Shirt Grave Robber for mentioning where check 12 was before the start of the run as he had reckied the run earlier with his wenches.

Upcoming events the Sardine Social 18H30 Simonstown Yacht Club Friday 7/9/2007
There will be a fish braai a proper fish and a guest appearance by Harold the Bokom.
Ladies please bring a salad, garlic bread and money to buy the men folk enough drinks to begin to think you're gorgeous, failing that at least enough for them to think they're bullet proof, these magic drinks are obtainable from the yacht club bar at a price.

ON ON
TNT, Bone Idle

NEWLANDS CRICKET AND RUGBY STATIUMS

CIRCLE WITH VIEW OF SOUTHERN SUBURBS IN THE BACKGROUND

CIRCLE

KOEKSUSTER, DUTCH CAP, JAGSMEISIE GETTING A DOWN DOWN - FOR DOING THE HIKE BEFORE THE RUN

TICK TOCK, HERMANUS, BULLWANKER (HARE), GRAVE ROBBER (HASH HORN)- AND HASH HOUND

GRAVE ROBBER AT BEER CHECK STOP

BULLWANKER (HARE) LEADING THE PACK THROUGH THE FOREST

TICK TOCK AND GRAVE ROBBER CLIMBING THE EMBANKMENT HERMANUS IN THE FOREGROUND

TWIN PEAKS

RSWP,BONE IDLE,TICK TOCK, WONDERBRA,TWIN PEAKS,BULLWANKER WITH HASH HOUND

THE RUN THAT WAS 2/9/07 HAPPY SPRING DAY FOR YESTERDAY!!!!!

HASH TRASH 26/8/07

2007-08-27T00:49:00.001-07:00

NEXT WEEK'S HIKE: led by Grave Robber, 9am Rhodes Memorial, bring a packed lunch as the hike is to be followed by the run from Rhodes Memorial at 2 PM, ie. 14h00, that is NOT 16h30 as usual…

Apart from the lunch bring sticks, knives and guns, water, sunscreen and snakebite kit (for those that don't know this is lager + cider + blackcurrant, guaranteed to kill all snakes as I, Snake Charmer, am in a perfect position to know).

Next Wednesdays run: I wasn't really listening but I think it was Pirates, if this is wrong will someone please send out a correction :-)

Now, the run… as I had entered the epic Peninsula Ultimate Fun Run, affectionately known as PUFfeR the day before, I joined the ranks of the walkers. OK, so not that I finished this 80km run, or indeed even started it, as I stuffed my back up a few days before which wouldn't have been so bad but it wasn't even doing something pleasurable… now I have 2 entries but no starts, perhaps there is a lesson to be learned here, maybe I should stick to Hash runs as they all seem to be a piece of piss – for example, on this particular run I saw Grave Robber break into a short run once but apart from that all I saw was walking.

Having struggled through a torrential downpour to get to the run, at great risk to life and limb, I was thinking of sitting in the car for an hour while the run took place, but as I had the Mutley Crew with me I was compelled to get out of the car and shake a leg – and the rain had stopped.

So off we all toddled, with 1000 rabbit hutches on the left and scenic power cables on the right; black sky overhead completed the dreary scene. Does Hermanus really live in this god forsaken country? No wonder he is such a w*n#%r.

The highlight of the run/walk was a small (and I mean small) shot of OBS somewhere by a cesspool in the middle of Mordor. Hermanus actually had a decent beer in his backpack for a change, fine Pilsner Urquell, but Flo guzzled it all before I got so much as a sniff.

What else can I tell you about the run? Bu**er all, 'cos I turned back, slipping through the mud the same way as we had come.

Circle sinners:

Runners, or pretending they were: Gutterguts, Boblet, Grave Robber

Hare: Hermanus

New foot walker: Koeksuster

Can't remember why: Blodwyn Leek

Hermanus: BEATEN BY A WALKER

Dutch Cap: urinating discreetly behind a hillock so no hashers could see, but exposing all, right under the eyes of a couple of African gentlemen who were watching from nearby

SHIT SHIRT Snake Charmer aka Bull Wanker was most unfairly awarded the shit shirt by Grave Robber for not managing to even start that ridiculous – only 80km – run mentioned earlier, you wait GR, I'll catch you on the TMC and throw you down the mountain (like the tortoise caught the hare, didn't it?)

ON ON

Snake Charmer/BW

HASH TRASH 19/8/07

2007-08-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

UPCOMING EVENTS
Hike on Sunday 2 September:
Grave digger is arranging a hike on Sunday 2 September for all of hash to join. We all meet 9am at Rhodes Memorial and route depends on how many arrive and their fitness level and what Yvonne is planning for her run..

Bring: sturdy shoes, packed lunch, waterproofs, strong legs, alcohol of
some sort. Hat.

Friday 7 September Sardine run social
There is no run - it is just a social
It will start 18h30 at Simonstown Yacht club
Koeksuster will buy fresh fish to braai.
Easy Rider will ask people to bring salads and garlic breads and of course Hash Cash will be there.
Our friend Harold the bokkom will also be in attendance

Friday 14 September Rugby
England vs. SA at 21hoo
Easy Rider has big screen projector available and will take it to Gutterguts' pad.
Party at Gutterguts pad with Bring and Braai before the game
Starts 18h30

Sunday hash run is on the 26 August at 1630 bring n braai after at Hermanus pad (53 Peach tree crest sunningdale) . Run location is the end of Sandown Road East Sunningdale DIRECTIONS, R27 west coast road heading towards Melkbos, proceed through Bayside robots, to Parklands/Sunningdale robots and proceed through robots to the third set of robots which says Sandown road east turn right into Sandown road and drive over traffice circle to end of road. Land marks are Blauwberg Hospital and West Coast Village shopping centre on left and also the Engen garage.

NB!!! T-shirt designs will be on show at the ON ON - please vote for the design you want

apologies (Run 19 Aug 07)
Due to a few gremlins in the network (at Hermanus office) the hash trash news letter is unable to be completed .... all and sundry had a good run on Sunday thanks to the Hare Gandhi.

Dutch cap giving Grave Robber the Hash Shit of the week award...for getting lost and hitching a ride in Bone Idle's chariot

bull wanker (hash vet) with four of her hash hounds

Jagsmeisie getting a down down from the RA - not wearing hash atire

Hermanus getting a down down out of his takkie...for coming back with dry takkies

group photo...
back row...suckface, baby Jake, twin peaks, blabbermouth with baby Alyssa (whos the boss),dutch cap,bone idle,blodwyn leek,grave robber,gutterguts, hermanus
(middle row) wonder bra,jan klein,gandhi, flo, misbehaviour
(in front) Bullwanker and Hash hounds, Jagsmeisie, Boblet
the run that was....19 Aug

HASH TRASH 12/8/07

2007-08-13T00:52:00.000-07:00

Hash Trash from Cape Town Hash
The run that was.....12 AUGUST 2007

The committee: same as last week

Next week’s run:Cor. of De Waal road and Princessvlei road. Parking area next to e-car sales. Diepriver. Time: 16h30

Wednesday’s run: Brennan’s Bistro. Pick & Pay centre Tokai (Blowbean’s ) neighbour

The run that was: Hare Gargoyle (the Moari )

On a brilliant day the hare staked his claim to a prime piece of real estate on the slopes of table mountain watched over by the twelve apostles. Pipe-track is above us and the upper cable station a headlift away. With the sea below the table was set for a run with the utmost potential. Rumour has it though that the Moari could’nt see the upper cable station as he did not have enough neck-mobility to see so high.

The run was explained and the walkers left to the care of Boblet – the co-hare – a poor choice in itself on any day, but then he was still plaqued by a bout of piles, pox.and partial paralysis. But in the true spirit of Hash he perservered forth with gritty resolve. Lady Hare (TNT ) was at first a doubtful starter for this run/walk. But then Madame Kerriekoek and Sir Braainaaier arrived and then the footrace was on. Both however threw in the towel at the first sighting of a slight incline way in the distance. They returned by mutual agreement with both their reputations untainted

An appearance by our visiting Zim/CT hasher in the shape of Tinkerbell greatly added to the international flavour of this run. Old Bob back home does’nt have to fear a thing. With a pair of shoulders the like of Tinkerbell’s around, he can load all his problems onto him.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum were also there. Can they natter! You’d swear they hav’nt seen each other for years. No wonder Suckface stayed home. There’s no peace like home. And then there was newly christened “Dutch Cap” the travel agent.She floats over dale and hill without even breathing heavily. Mind you some of us are most grateful to be breathing heavily since it is far better than not breathing at all. And then there was Padams putting his bionic hip to the ultimate test - hill running. Passed with flying colours. By the way, did you notice his jazzy after – run pants?

A great run, gorgeous day and brilliant sunset. Thanks Gargoyle (only for the run, of course) So glad you could also see the sun set!

Lady employee complains to her boss about a fellow male employee. “Whenever I walk pass him, he says “your hair smells nice’ she complains. “That does’nt sound to me like sexual harassment, says the boss. “ It sounds more like a compliment, says the boss. ‘Yes”, says the employee. “But not if he’s a midget!”

ON-ON GANDHI

HASH TRASH 5/8/07

2007-08-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hash Trash from Cape Town Hash
The run that was.....

WE WAIT IN ANTICIPATION FOR THE LATEST HASH TRASH..........
Ok our hash scribe seems to have forgotten about us so I have added some photos' just to prove we did run...

at 38 Ravensberg ave, Newlands,..........
Bring and braai after or if the weather is kak Blodwynn will make soup and rolls....ON ON Jan Klein

Hash Trash 5 AUG 2007

HASH TRASH 31/7/07

2005-02-25T06:19:00.000-08:00

Hash Trash 31 July 2007

Hash Trash from Cape Town Hash

Committee members: 2006/7
They cannot be important, because half of them don't even attend Hash, but they are:
Gutterguts, Hermanus, Blodwynleek, Easy Rider, Bone Idle, Blabbermouth & Koeksuster

Correction more than half of them attended Sundays run.
The stats are 4 out of 4 for the male committee members and 0 out of 3 for the balless wonders, mmmmm.

Next Wednesdays Run
Wed run is at Bella pizza, 54 Landsdowne Rd, Claremont, 18h30.

Next Sundays Run Run No. 1393
Sunday 5th at 16.00 ..............not 16.30 (want some day light after the run
at 38 Ravensberg ave, Newlands,..........
Bring and braai after or if the weather is kak Blodwynn will make soup and rolls....ON ON Jan Klein

Now for the run that was Run No 1392 Sunday 29 July 2007 Hare: Grave Robber.
We all assembled in the car par at Newlands forestry station, unfortunately the RA was held up by a very confused induuurvidual piloting the hash drinks chariot who seemed to have no clue where he should be headed.
After this confusion had been cleared up we all assembled in the carpark, where Gargoyle had what must have been the cloured version of what may become a polar bear. Another possibility is that it wasn't a colored polar bear at all but the infant version of a grizzly bear any way whatever it was it was big just like Gargoyle's new chariot which we shall now refer to as the grizzly transporter.
Anyway I digress, the grizzly bear decided to take a dump right at our gathering point, the shit was a light brown colour, no not Gargoyle, this pointed back towards the beast being an infant polar bear not a grizzly.

Taking stock of the situation it was noted that Heranus had forgotten to bring our now very highly respected shit shirt, being the only CTHHH shit shirt to run a sub 2 hour Knysna half marathon. Infact on researching the matter in the CTHHH archive (which Grave Robber has fortunately not yet plundered) it is the only recorded event in our history where the shit shirt has been worn ,admittedly by a shit, in an official event and then awarded complete with race no.s to an even bigger shit the following week end.
The latter shit is suspected of developing Alzheimer's,but further symptoms of this were noted during the course of the afternoon.(more about that later)

Back to Grave Robber on his maiden hash run, speaking of that where the hell has Jagsmeisie been lately??
Grave Robber is not actually completely sane at the moment first he goes to Knysna on a party week end and runs a 42km marathon (DOF??), then the Saturday before setting his run he does 6 hrs running through the mountains in something called the Hout Bay Challenge (Very DOF).My theory on this is maybe he is not totally Looney yet but Jagsmeisie puts him out of the house and not being as well equipped as Gargoyle's Polar Bear he has to run to stay warm??

We departed from the car park leaving the polar bear turd behind and headed up the mountain to find an X, which normal hashers thought was a falsey as this is customary, however somewhere in Grave Robbers tomb raiding past it was used as the sign to depict a 4 way split with the fourth option being back exactly the way you have just come, apologies arrived, I can see the sense in this when tomb raiding but we were not trapped in an underground vault here .

Grave Robber fortunately arrived and cleared up the confusion stating it would not be necessary to return to check one (the polar bear turd) but we should investigate the other three options of his 4 way split.

On up the mountain we ran in places against raging torrents of freezing mountain water and large pools of liquid ice. Some of the more timid hashers were teetering around the edges of the streams flowing down the paths, trying to keep their shoes dry, not Gutter Guts, he seemed to take great joy in announcing PUDDLE at the top of his voice and crashing into every tranquil water body in a manner to ensure TNT(Bone Idle) would wear as much of the freezing muddy liquid as possible. Many checks and falsies(unmarked splits) later the running pack descended into a ravine to find a large torrent that needed to be crossed. Idle bone having picked up a trick from Guilty Guts decided to share some of the cold damp elixir of the gods with a very dry Heranus so he used all his engineering savvy and knowledge of project vomit, I mean physics, to launch an
obelisk into the raging torrents in the proximity of Heranus.
With the status quo now even and all the FRB's suitably drenched, on we went up the river valley to another jeep track.
After about 40 minutes we began a very long descent back to the chariot park and Polar Bear Shit.
A very good first run in fact it would even have been a candidate run of the year if there had been a beer stop.

Sinners:

Grave Robber Hare
TNT some bull shit about hash handles
Heranus Alzheimer's forgot shit shirt, arrived last after getting lost on home run
Gargoyle & Blowbeans new chariots
Heranus new shoes, these seem to be too fast for him to keep track of where he is going.
Derelict disrespect wandering off in the middle of the ramblings
Guilty Guts muttering during proceedings
Heranus arriving last even after Boblet
Someone else threw a drink at the RA instead of consuming it not worth mentioning.

ON ON
IDLE BONE