HASH TRASH - 2/9/07
Comments: I am not the #$@* racing snake, down down to the Idle Bone that knows nothing - SNAKE CHARMER
Hash Trash 5 September 2007
The committee: Absolutely excellent bunch Rah, rah, Yaah!!!!!
Next Wednesday's Run: 6:30pm Ashanti Lodge 11 Hof Street Cape Town (Tonight)
Next Sunday's Run : Run No: 1398 Tokai Forest now Orpen Rd thanks to a slightly incorrect sms. 17H00. Apologies if the newspaper says somewhere else. No it's not Blowbeans's run this time but starts in the same place now thanks Bob. Heranus if you have any complaints speak to you fellow countrymen. Hare Rancid Scottie Weasel Piss (Lovely!!)
The run that was: Sunday 2 September Run No 1397 Hare: Racing Snake
We all gathered on the slopes of Table Mountain adjacent to Rhodes Memorial at an altitude of approximately half way up, although some of the hikers would probably contest this estimate.
This was of great concern to TNT as this meant this run could go up and then down or down and then up or along and down and then back and up or .. We had an age to contemplate this as we awaited the arrival of Grave Robber who had taken 3 birds up the mountain earlier that morning. He must have worn them out as he arrives at the chariot park at 16h45 with no sign of them on his heels. Jagsmeisie I can understand, but the other 2 ..
Racing Snake made some excuse about not doing a puff adder, which Grave Robber had done or something, jeez talk about desperation. She then sent us off up the mountain and along in the direction of Newlands. Bone Idle, being a connoisseur of nature and fine views languished at the back truly appreciating his surroundings unlike many other hashers who sped along not noticing anything except the booze travelling along ahead of them. They chased Heranus and Racing Snake all the way to Check 6 and the first Regroup / booze stop.
In there haste they forgot to mark through the checks and splits so causing serious navigational issues for Bone Idle.
Fortunately at the first such perplexing situation a check at a river crossing Twin Peaks and Wonderbra's voices rang out through the forest indicating the correct route.
TNT being the noble gentleman that he is waited for Boblet to ensure he had the correct route, this would cost him dearly later and much later he would again be punished for this chivalrous action.
TNT and Rancid Scottie.. and Boblet arrive at the top of this river bank to encounter another split, this time no help was in attendance and they had to brave it on their own.
At this point that bad bastard Murphy decided to intervene and apply Sod's Law to the situation which clearly states " If you have to select one of 2 options the first one you select will be the wrong one."
In a normal situation this error would not have had as dire a consequence but a number of factors conspired to make this a very grave error indeed.
The 3 brave hashers selected the split running up the mountain in true hash nature applying the logic its better to run back down, if it's a falsie than discover that you have suckered yourself downhill and have put yourself way, way back with a mountain to climb to return to the split.
The 3 tail end Charlies who were already out of touch with the pack were now way behind.
This fact really began to worry Bone Idle as they came upon check 5, realising the next check, check 6, was the first regroup and booze stop. Allowing other hash reprobates a head start in consuming the elixir of the Hash Gods was not in Bone Idles estimation a very clever move. He became increasingly concerned and distressed as he realised they had no idea which way the trail went from check 5, there were a minimum of 4 options and if Sod's Law prevailed again and any of the FRB's or MRB's (Front Running Bastards and Middle Running Bastards for the uninitiated) had anything like the thirst TNT had on board the Elixir of the Hash Gods would have been completely consumed by now.
Being aware of the lack of generosity in the souls of the mob ahead TNT began to accept his chances of obtaining any Elixir of the Hash Gods had all but evaporated before him.
After 2 more failed attempts to find the trail, we set off on our third attempt from check 5 and encountered Twin Peaks and Wonderbra returning, they had turned back after check 6 which they informed TNT was still a fair way off and that the booze carriers were already to leave check 6 when they had arrived and they had informed Racing Snake that TNT had probably turned back (WHAT!!!!). He was very crest fallen at this news as even if there were a few drops left they would have been transported further up the mountain by the time he arrived.
So alas he sadly turned his back on the mountain and set off on the long weary trudge for home along with Twin Peaks, Wonderbra, Rancid Scottie .. and Boblet.
His sadness and disappointment weighed so heavily on his shoulders that he couldn't even keep up with his fellow hashers.
The forlorn TNT arrived back at the chariot park and waited for the FRB's to arrive.
First to appear was Grave Robber whose three wenches had returned from their walk up the mountain seemingly in good spirits.
Next was racing Snake and the little 4 legged one that could apparently the rest of the herd were finished after helping to set the ordeal that morning and eat up a few markings.
Next was Tick Tock and after that Heranus with Blabbermouth very close on his heels, Heranus are those running shoes out of guarantee yet maybe you could trade them in on a faster pair.
The ceremony began in Earnest (poor lad that must have hurt)
Sinners:
Hare: Racing Snake (IE SNAKE CHARMER lol)
3 Mountain Wenches: Koeksuster, Dutch Cap and Jagsmeisie
Grave Robber for holding up the start of the run
Heranus for not waiting for TNT at the booze stop
Heranus for last week
Heranus for what he might do next week
Rancid Scottie Weasel Piss for not having a hash shirt
TNT unjustly punished for not getting to the regroup
Shit Shirt Grave Robber for mentioning where check 12 was before the start of the run as he had reckied the run earlier with his wenches.
Upcoming events the Sardine Social 18H30 Simonstown Yacht Club Friday 7/9/2007
There will be a fish braai a proper fish and a guest appearance by Harold the Bokom.
Ladies please bring a salad, garlic bread and money to buy the men folk enough drinks to begin to think you're gorgeous, failing that at least enough for them to think they're bullet proof, these magic drinks are obtainable from the yacht club bar at a price.
ON ON
TNT, Bone Idle
NEWLANDS CRICKET AND RUGBY STATIUMS
CIRCLE WITH VIEW OF SOUTHERN SUBURBS IN THE BACKGROUND
CIRCLE
KOEKSUSTER, DUTCH CAP, JAGSMEISIE GETTING A DOWN DOWN - FOR DOING THE HIKE BEFORE THE RUN
TICK TOCK, HERMANUS, BULLWANKER (HARE), GRAVE ROBBER (HASH HORN)- AND HASH HOUND
GRAVE ROBBER AT BEER CHECK STOP
BULLWANKER (HARE) LEADING THE PACK THROUGH THE FOREST
TICK TOCK AND GRAVE ROBBER CLIMBING THE EMBANKMENT HERMANUS IN THE FOREGROUND
TWIN PEAKS
RSWP,BONE IDLE,TICK TOCK, WONDERBRA,TWIN PEAKS,BULLWANKER WITH HASH HOUND
THE RUN THAT WAS 2/9/07 HAPPY SPRING DAY FOR YESTERDAY!!!!!
