HASH TRASH 5-7OCT WEEKEND AWAY CERES

The Winter Weekend Away Cape Town Hash (5-7 October 2007)
Run Number - ????
Committee - All to drunk to remember
I have been nagged into scribing this HASH TRASH possibly because so few attended and they need to know that they missed a Bloody Good event.
Congratulations to who ever thought up and arranged the tour and tough SHIT to those who missed out.
Off we went to Ceres for a Friday night of Shooters, Drie Hoek Kerrie Koek and stand up comedy by a very entertaining KOEKSISTER who even wanted to show us her tattoo of a mouse but then discovered that her pussy must have eaten it.
Saturday morning started off with bright sun shine and very few hangovers and then a simple straight forward trip to the Matroosberg Nature Reserve. It was much like Check 1 with all going in different directions and having to phone yours truly followed by Gutterguts for directions to Check 2.
Finally they all arrived at the Farm somewhere near Niksenboggeralsfontein dressed for a cool summers day. Fortunately the farmers wife took pity on Gutterguts' offspring and handed out Red Cross Blankets. It was explained to the kids that as they only arrived on this planet after the Oldies they had no rights to the blankets.
Then it was back to the old army days and get your arse into the back of the well ventilated Bedford. Gutterguts took full advantage of the situation and dropped a real pearler, which even the great outdoors and the howling wind passing through the Bedford truck, could not disperse.
Many were the pessimists, convinced that the old truck could not climb the track ahead even if they levelled it out to say 50 degrees incline. But a Bedford driven by a Boer se Vrou, drie maande na die geboorte van haar tweede kind en saam met haar eerste seun in die kajuit, is a taai ding. Maybe it was the helping jet propulsion from Gutterguts not to mention the prayers of Mother Inferior but eventually after much grinding, bumping and painful backsides all arrived at the top of the mountain albeit Chucking Filly.
Some of us have strange religions, Her_anus in particular, he took along a new, non drinking Lady friend and two dozen eggs. all the way up the mountain and all the way down again, mind you he never touched any of them. For reasons unbeknown she got christened YUM YUM, pronounced with a kind of lisp, like when you are licking the tart. Go on try it.
After a leisurely lunch and a non enthusiastic look over the side of the cliff for the missing American who came to a conclusion somewhere at the bottom of the gorge, it was back on the Bedford for a second attempt at the scary track and grind and bump our way back to the farm house. The only sensible creature was the dog the ran behind the truck all the way up and all the way down. He looked at as all and declared that humans are stucking fupid things They kak off going up, they give him their lunch and then go back down still complaining of the bumpy ride.
At this point most Hashers could feel a sleep coming on, I was very tiring climbing into and out of the Bedford. Others headed for the Ceres Rukby Klub to watch the TV in the fruit chilling room as if they were not cold enough from the mountain.
Saturday night Gutterguts exelled himself with his rendition of Poetjie Kos, two choices nogal and a request for the receipe. The latter was the interesting part he could only remember the poor animals that he had stewed and then bumbled on about salt pepper, chutney and some of this and some of that, what a lot of Kak but Yum Yum seemed to believe him. What he failed to tell Yum Yum was that he did not wash the pots from that last time that he had used them, maybe he had also forgotten when that was. Then we all drank and drank, Koeksister downed a Yard of Ale cause she was awarded Spirit of Hash and took it literally and figuratively, and then went to bed full of spirit. There were other awards but I can only remember Don for the Walker of the year. Then we waited to watch the rugby which Jan Klein said would be on TV at 10pm. Ja well we are still waiting.
Sunday morning ALL sauntered off on the official Hash run/walk before brunch cooked in last nights dirty pots Man what Flavour and it would have been better if Gandi had not insisted that Flo gets the old bits of past food out of the corner of the pot.
Her_anus entertained the crowd with his egg throwing competition and collected the Grande prize from his God Daughter. She threw and busted an egg on him GOOD GIRL KEEP IT UP.
One final belch and a few farts and we all went home.
Sinners
Mother Inferior
Easy Rider
And a few others












The new committee
Grand Master - Blabbermouth
Religious Advisor Runners- Snake Charmer
Religious Advisor Walkers - Derelick (new)
Guardian Angel - RSWP
Hash Master - Koeksuster
On Sec - Helgar
Haberdash - Mother Inferior
Hashcash - Gutterguts
Hashhorn - dutch cap
Hash Mountain Goat - Grave Robber (new)
Hash Web Wench - Easy Rider (new)

Mobile Alerts have been taken over by Easy Rider

PRIZE WINNERS
Run of the year... Steenberg - Jan Klein
Best first run... Newlands forrest - Grave robber
Spirit of hash...Koeksuster
Best Scribe...Bone Idle
Walker of the year...Gandhi
Hashette...Snake Charmer
Special awards...Mr Dick