HASH TRASH 2/12/07

The run that was…..2 December 2007
Run number: 1410
Committee: some brilliant bunch of people


Next week’s run: Let me explain….. our good hare for next week, Grave Digger, has been homesick and so paid a short visit back to his home country and only returned last night. So while he sleeps off the free alcohol from the plane he will ponder where the run will be and let us know in due course. So watch this space!

Wednesday’s run: Fat Cactus, Mowbray (if you do not know where that is, then you are not a Capetonian!!!)

WHY IS THIS LETTER IN GREEN?
Well, the run was set in the forest, (how’s that for creativity – corny I know) okay back to the dirt! (and there was lots literally)

The hair, the honourable Jan Klein, called on on as suckface & twin peaks made lots of dust arriving in the big black mobile, he dutifully warned us about cyclists (they were not so bad after a few drinks even though they thought we were a cult!) but I digress, he also warned us about Cape Cobras (we were a bit worried it was not the reptile snakes but again I digress).

Anyway the mob, quite a few still recovering from the Xmas party the night before (thanks very much to Snake Charmer for the use of her abode – music was good even if there was no Boney M!) meandered into the distant green yonder, as Snot goblin & I took her bike for a ride down the dusty road.

On returning from our little meander, we spied TnT, hiding out listening to the cricket in Gargoyle’s chariot (without a spare tyre… short story.. it got nicked), after a brief catch up, we saw Thunder thighs come running out of the forest (literally not figativerly), I thought she had seen Jan Klein’s snake! But she was just running away from hashers’ chatter!

Next charging out of trees came Gutterguts & Herm-anus… and Gutterguts won!!!! Go Boy!!!

The sweaty visitor (and I mean sweaty – even put Herm-anus to shame) & strays that the hashers picked up along the way all slowly made their way back to the chariots following the smell of hash cash. Yes beer can lure any man (sorry and some women).

At this point Snake Charmer called everybody to order for the ceremony (Hence we were called a cult!)

Sinners:
Hare: Jan Klein
Shorts affair: Gutterguts & British single femaile hashette (I forget her name) had the honour of sharing the shorts!
Visiting feet/wheels: Marc, Niels (the cyclists that were abducted into our circle), Dave (I think) a runner who got caught up in our web, the British single female hashette & the sweaty one from Barain (my brain is finished!!!! – no names anywhere inside)
Who else?
Shit Shirt – Blabbermouth
????
Not important

To end:
Important quotes below (please memorise there will be a test on Sunday)
Diarise 16 December – Hash at cherry farm in Ceres – more details to follow
Thanks again to Yvonne for hosting the Christmas bash!!!

The Value of a Drink

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams ... If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~ Jack Handy WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. " ~Frank Sinatra WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the BuffaloTheory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not