Hash Trash 30 Nov
Next weeks Run # 1464 (according to the receding hareline) :
Venue: Parking area behind Glen Alpine Shopping Centre, Bergvliet Spur etc.
If you are coming from the northern suburbs (Jagsmeisie and co.) take the M3 south when you get to Settlers Way, stay on the M3 past UCT, past Newlands, past Paradise Motors (Shell Garage) stay on the M3 up the hill past the snobs in Bishops Court then around the corner down the hill over Wynberg bridge still on the M3 go on at the bottom of the hill past the Constantia off ramp, still on the M3, past Kendal Rd off ramp, still on the M3 take the next one left (NOT ON THE M3, anymore) Ext 16 Ladies Mile offramp at the traffic lights turn right, follow Ladies Mile go around the circle and carry on down Ladies Mile past the schools and take the first right and immediately left into Ladies Mile service Rd. Follow this over the 3 way Stop and then around the right hand corner, then drive straight into the parking area.
If you are not coming from the North you are probably not DOF and don’t need directions if you are Tough Shit. Relocate to the North and follow the directions.
NB If you get to Muizenberg you’ve gone too far South.
Time: 17h00
Hare: Bone Idle
Scribe: Koeksuster
Bring and Braai afterwards and there is a pool if you fancy a swim.
Wednesdays Run:
Pack Run, Rose & Crown (New pub)St. James 18h30
Parties and Socials:
21 December 2008 – Toy Run
· Ist run to be done by Curry Bum in keeping with Children’s theme
· Bring toys to be donated to a children’s charity
11 January 2009 – Helgar’s birthday bash
· Format – undecided but diarise anyway!
15 February 2009 – Ladies Revenge Run!!!!
· Male species be scared we are reintroducing hash traditions this year!!!!!!
April - Weekend away
· Uilenskraalmond (or some version of the spelling)
· St Patrick’s day theme!
July 2009 1500 Run
Remember to invite your friends & families to socials as it is a great way to introduce them to hash and increase our numbers!!!
Last weeks run # 1463 : Hare: Derelict
I arrived 10 minutes late for this run and in my haste to find the start missed a golden opportunity to flatten Hermanus who was sprinting along in the lead. I speed along another km along Sandowne Rd. and hastily halted the chariot in the chariot park alongside other hash perambulators. I then set off in haste after the long since departed hashers.
Not being a dof article I decided the best way to catch the pack would be to inspan some modern communication technology, so I dialled up Suckface while chasing along to the last spot I had seen Hermanus. Suckface answered cheerily a sure sign that he was not in the company of the RA. He rambled on about check 10 near Kelvin Groove, there I was standing on check 2 with nary a soul in sight. He then shocked me still further when he told me he wasn’t even with the runners, He had joined the knitting circle.
They must have been smoking those knitting needles to get to check 10 in 30min, eat your heart out Hermanus who wishes to become the most famous short-cutting bastard of all time at CTHHH (MFSCBOCTHHH), more about this later.
Being the motivated, tough not scared of physical punishment type of hasher that I am (you bastards got my hash handle completely wrong) I was determined to work hard and catch the pack, probably not Hermanus as he wouldn’t be on the trail anyway with his penchant for short cutting, but the pack.
Based on absolutely no information I turned right at check 2 and ran to the end of the street to find it turned away from my intended direction and around a school and canal, blast this bloody Rondebosch town planner. Now I understand the name Rondebosch, it should be round the bush, I went round a few, NO you filthy minded bastards I mean trees.
I arrived on the bank of another bloody canal with a blade wire fence and a field between myself and our esteemed (only because he had a cooler box) hare Derelict.
Now with renewed resolve and motivation I attacked the long winding roads to find a way to that cool nectar of the gods.
I found Derelict very pleased to see me if not a little puzzled that I had not approached from direction he had planned. As soon as he was convinced I was not Boblet as he normally pulls such stunts he happily awarded me a rehydration canister. He informed me the pack and Heranus were still to put in an appearance.
We were greatly surprised to see no sign of Hermanus at the front of the pack as they came into view.
The pack had all finished their rehydration process as Hermanus arrived, he had tried the mother of all short cuts. Shame looks like there’s not much the English have got right lately.
In true whinging pom style he was rabbiting on about pussy misleading him.
The way we saw it she whipped your arse, mmmmm he might enjoy that.
We thanked the hare for his generiosity in awarding Bone Idle a second ‘nectar of the gods”
(Amstel) and departed the booze stop.
Hermanus with his ego in tatters took off more or less straight for the chariots. Pussy, Bone Idle, Gutterguts leaning on Who’s the Boss’s chariot for balance, Blabbermouth and Curry Bum made a more honest effort to follow the well set trail along past Kelvin Groove, the rugby stadium and along the river to the station, then over the bridge and back to the chariot park.
Here we found Hermanus even after short cutting having been beaten by the walkers and the hare.
Sinners:
As a result of his disgraceful conduct and the fact that the English are loosers for more than 3 weeks now it was decided to appoint Gutterguts RA instead of Hermanus for the ceremony.
Just as Bone Idle felt this to be a strategic shift in his favour, Gutterguts lived up to his other hash handle Snake in the Grass (more like Snake in the Gravel) and turned on the innocent Bone Idle and the not so innocent Heranus and punished them for not having their hash tankards present.
Next up: Curry Bum and Koeksuster (you’re the shirt lady?) for No Hash shirts